jack

[jack @FMGUJ]

eating of the forbidden fruit counts as rulebreaking, not lawbreaking

[jack @FMGUJ]

@female_socrates dont worry about replying to those texts she doesnt do that shit anyway

[jack @FMGUJ]

@female_socrates

[jack @FMGUJ]

god: let there be light
my wife: now its not gonna happen because you said it

[jack @FMGUJ]

im always like 10 minutes away from my ideal place in time

[jack @FMGUJ]

if i was president i would give everyone free food but only cheeseburgers and free beds but only japanese style

[jack @FMGUJ]

i grew up in milan

[jack @FMGUJ]

why when u ask for mayo at mcdonald’s do they put a disgusting amount? and why do u have to select 1 or 2 but it doesn’t make any difference? what is 2 mayo?

[jack @FMGUJ]

at this point mcdonalds ranch tastes like marshmallow creme

[Brooks Otterlake @i_zzzzzz]

Hey man good news. Last night was non-canon

[jack @FMGUJ]

ive been around r/theblock

[jack @FMGUJ]

@female_socrates i cannot believe this got more likes than retweets its literally the first rule he made

[jack @FMGUJ]

when u think about it elevators dont really need doors like just leave it open

[jack @FMGUJ]

one piece is like lotr if frodo ate the ring and became tom bombadil

[jack @FMGUJ]

would an indian woman’s breast milk be too spicy for a white baby?

[jack @FMGUJ]

sometimes i flex on old people by taking the stairs all at once

[jack @FMGUJ]

on my zacchaeus shit

[jack @FMGUJ]

latino, latahto

[jack @FMGUJ]

@female_socrates what are we doing here