FPL Ruined My Life

Remember when life was simple and you could just captain Suarez and go on about your day.

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

How my #FPL season will unfold:

⬇️ Start shit, do loads of transfers
⬇️ Do even shitter as players I rage-transferred pick up form
➡️ Do loads more transfers. Keep same level of shitness for a while
➡️ Faff around going nowhere
⬆️ Nail it with about 3 games left

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

@OfficialFPL @ManUtd Cheers for jinxing 👍

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

@OfficialFPL

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Grealish: “It was me. Crashed a car full of ‘rona prozzies into the training ground. Not sorry.”

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Me: My team looks good on paper.
FPL gods: Half of your players will get Covid or get benched.
Me: WHAT?
FPL gods: Stop acting surprised, this happens all the time.
Me: Yeah, sigh. Oh well, Happy New Year.
FPL gods: Fuck you.

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

My #FPL achievement of the week:

- put in City defender for “guaranteed” clean sheet
- that defender scores the own goal to wipe out that clean sheet (thanks Dias)
- the player I take out for Dias, gets a clean sheet

FUCK YOU FPL

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Premier League announcement:

“West Brom have just activated the automatic relegation clause, triggered if Christian Benteke manages to score more than once against you.”

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Vaccine approved inject it 💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

When someone refuses to let me see their FPL team after I ask them.

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

My FPL strategy over the last 5 weeks, which I will be continuing this week:

“Foden has to play at some point, right?”

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Leicester 0 - Fulham 2 #FPL2020

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Hamez

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Sterling, Cancelo, Foden benched...

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Me: hmmm one of my players isn’t playing. Wonder who my first sub is...

Brain: your subs are shit. Your team is shit. Your ranking is shit. You have no hope. Why do you care?

Me: oh yeah

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

@FFScout Bet Zouma enjoyed his 2000 mile trip to Russia. And I bet he’ll equally enjoy a piss-wet, freezing cold trip up north to Turf Moor as well. Triple captain material 😉

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

6 weeks in, here comes the FPL Regret Train 🚂

Who's the biggest bastard so far:

Sterling - Alpha Troll
Werner - wow 2 goals 👏
Willian - 3 assists then 💩
TAA - less pts than ORIOL ROMEU
Mitrovic - bargain 💩
KDB - You heard me
Lamptey - fooled us all
Martial - 1pt/game 🙌

[Leicester City @LCFC]

Remembering Khun Vichai and the four others who lost their lives two years ago today 💙

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Podence is a tribute act to Eden Hazard

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Everton and Villa this week

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Foden on for Aguero 🤔

[FPL Ruined My Life @FPLRuin]

Martinez, 3 points for not conceding 20 goals