FUC

Official Twitter account for Fulwich University College, 'The World’s Most Provincial University.'

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

We are officially a number one ranked university (1# in the SPX league for % of academic temporary contracts). #topdog

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

Excited to announce that CHURCHILL Scheme participants will now be able to study not just in Hull, but anywhere in The Colonies too! https://t.co/lW5nhBK12B

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

Students wishing to partake in ERASMUS should be aware that, post-Brexit, it will be known as the CHURCHILL Scheme & involve a year in Hull.

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

Come and work for us! 😀A superb opportunity for ECRs and recent PhDs! #supportingourstaff #greatjob

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

Meet the staff of the J-C Van Damme Computer Centre. We have three new one-day courses for you: ‘Advanced Wingding User,’ ‘The Future of Electronic Typewriters’ ‘and ‘Getting Ready for DOS 2.0.’ #cuttingedgelearning

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

@adamtickell @SussexUni A bold message from the UKHE-Man! We at @FUCUniversity stand alongside you, ready to battle the Skeletor-like Sally Hunt and her financial imprudence!

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

@ucu Nonsense! Our figures are based on the same 'teeny-weeny adjustments' methodology that @UniversitiesUK routinely use.

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

We commissioned a survey of 500 of our most loyal students, to ask for their opinion on the #ucustrikes. The results speak for themselves. Take note @UCU

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

9. Fulwich University College University recognises that staff have a right to industrial action. However, I want to reassure you, my beloved students, that we will make every possible effort to minimise the impact of this evil, work-shy, Bolshevik terrorism!"

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

8. We must all make sacrifices for the common good. For example, I myself have suffered a mere 45% annual increase in my own pension. I urge you all to stand together and embrace the sledgehammer-blow of change!

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

7. Is my munificence not stable and secure?

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

6. My message to striking staff is simple: let me help you help yourselves! Do I not always have your best interest in mind? You should be happy to work beneath such a diligent VC. Is this not worth a thousand pension increases?

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

5. Or a larger statue of our dashing Chancellor, Lord Archer?

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

4. UCU’s demands are simply not sustainable. It is often said that a university is only as good as its buildings. Without pension readjustments, how could we afford the brand new, underground T. Lysenko Biotech Hub? Or the high-tech, bookless, St Philomena Library?

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

3. I have spent many sleepless nights agonising over how I could explain to my poor, misguided staff that the proposed changes to their pensions are entirely for their benefit. More than two meetings were held to seek a resolution.

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

2. UCU has called this action in response to proposed changes to the Universities Superannuation Scheme (USS) pensions. I would like to reassure students that I am working night and day to resolve this dispute, resting only twice per hour to replenish my port.

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

1. FUCU Vice Chancellor Figgy Markovic has an important message for staff and students:
"As you are no doubt aware, the College has been notified by UCU of a vote in favour of strike action.

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

Our very own Shatner Institute of Space Studies have won ESA funding for a 20-year project to design a new mild peppermint space-toothpaste.

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

Congrats to all our wonderful new grads on your graduation day! 👩‍🎓Here's a pic of the Vice Chancellor's procession arriving at Senate Hall.

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

A typical UCAS offer for BEd Breakfast Technologies w/year in industry would be UUX at A-level.

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

Students wishing to partake in ERASMUS should be aware that, post-Brexit, it will be known as the CHURCHILL Scheme & involve a year in Hull.

[FUC @FUCUniversity]

Dean Prof Molton Brown recently returned from a trip to China. Here he is presenting the Ministry of Culture with a waxwork of Richard Nixon