𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨.

𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚒𝚐𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚍𝚊 𝚖𝚊𝚛𝚔. | #FNFRP #MVRP this is a parody please no s word

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

“𝑻𝒉𝒊𝒔 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒅 𝒃𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒆𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈… 𝙨𝙤 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙬𝙚 𝙜𝙤?“

︎︎︎https://t.co/nsTfcYPvns

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

“you’re gonna wanna sit down” means i’m about to tell you something you won’t like.

humans actually need to drink water to survive. you know our bodies are like— 60% water, right?

︎︎︎

[𝙂𝙇𝙊𝙒𝙎𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙆 @GREENNE0NLIGHTS]

“…was i supposed to be doing that this whole time-?”

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

…

( sloooooowly sips coffee. )

you’re gonna wanna sit down.

︎︎︎

[𝙂𝙇𝙊𝙒𝙎𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙆 @GREENNE0NLIGHTS]

“Weird? It’s a fuckin understatement! Your people shit doesn’t make any god damn sense what you gonna tell me people actually need water and it’s not an exaggeration?”

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

well like— it’s kind of the same day and kind of not.

like with thanksgiving for example. it’s always the fourth thursday of november. but the fourth thursday of november is on a different day every year. this year it was on the 24th day of november. weird i know

︎︎︎

[𝙂𝙇𝙊𝙒𝙎𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙆 @GREENNE0NLIGHTS]

“Well you ain’t wrong what the hell man? Why wouldn’t they be on the same day isn’t that how it’s supposed to work?”

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

oooh right i forgot you don’t know anything

“you’re in for a treat” means “you’re gonna like this”. but i used it sarcastically. because you are not gonna like this

︎︎︎

[𝙂𝙇𝙊𝙒𝙎𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙆 @GREENNE0NLIGHTS]

“I don’t want to be in for anything how the fuck does that even make sense?!”

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

you’re in for a treat buddy merry christmas

︎︎︎

[𝙂𝙇𝙊𝙒𝙎𝙏𝙄𝘾𝙆 @GREENNE0NLIGHTS]

“THE HELL DO YOU M E A N THEY DONT THAT DOESNT MAKE SENSE?!”

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

i’ll give me0 a calendar of 2023 for christmas. that fucker is gonna IMPLODE when it finds out that some holidays don’t happen on the same day each year

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

I FUCKING TAUGHT YOU WHAT A MONTH WAS DON’T BE LIKE “THE FUCK YOU MEAN”. AT LEAST MAKE IT TO CHRISTMAS (THE DAY YOU LEARNED ABOUT BY THE WAY) (ON THE FUCKING CALENDAR I GAVE YOU)

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

i love my girlfriend

︎︎︎

[𝙎𝙃𝘼𝙍𝙆𝘽𝙊𝙔‼️ @DSIDEBOYFRIEND]

︎︎︎

🔋 me On my way! to present my headcanons in the most silly way possible instead of just stating them normally

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

good to know i wasted my time!!

🔋 NOW NOW don’t jump to conclusions!

me0 is literally about to get itself killed

🔋 …yeaaaah but i can’t let that happen before it sees a certain purple guy

…ohhhhh. ohhhhhhh no

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

i know i didn’t lose sleep to teach this dumb fuck what a month is just for you to kill it.

🔋 …weellllllll—

I SWEAR TO GOD. YOU HATE ME

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

( sips coffee )

me0, you’re a dumbass

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

b3 today is NOT the day to bring hell to earth okay?? wait a little bit

︎︎︎

[ᅟᅟgibson girl, @sainticide]

the word 'father' rotted in my mouth.

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

thankful that i’m still alive.

not thankful for all my dumbasses for friends (jk love them)

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

they’re all fucking stupid, eating shit that could kill them, picking fights with people that could kill them. i’m so tired

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

i’ve never met a person with any sense of self-preservation. ever. EVER.

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

ok so the b3 situation is a little worse than i thought.

🔋 mhm.

and it’s literally YOUR FAULT…

🔋 mhm because i’m the writer

he wouldn’t kill me. right?

🔋 shrug

RIGHT?

🔋 maybe in a fit of blind rage

…

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

…

huh.

︎︎︎

[𝑫.𝑺. 𝑨𝑳 𝑪𝑶𝑫𝑨. @FUNKlNNEO]

︎︎︎

wow a little kick in the shins really did a number on your temper huh. no more cool and collected b3

︎︎︎