𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 .

𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘'𝐒 𝐆𝐎𝐓 𝐀 𝐅𝐈𝐑𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐔𝐑𝐍 ! | parody / rp | they / she | multiship | mun and muse are adults | ignited by shrimp ! |

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

https://t.co/tGs4krGDD9

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

( it's their birthday --- so they've taken
the liberty of going on a much-needed
vacation, currently lying on their back
&& watching the sky with their pokemon. )

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

I mean, you definitely look the part - and you're the boss of a bunch of other Guardians?? How many /are/ there? Do all of the Hunters dress like you, too ? I have... /so many questions./

Wait -- speaking of questions, how was the cake? D'ya think it's summer menu-ready?

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

( Sue them, they're multitasking - swirling icing on cupcakes as they talk, trying to hide a smile when their new taste tester crammed the entire slice in his mouth. )

Y'know you have to actually /taste/ the cake, right? And of course I think it's cool! Ya look like -

[🂱 • 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 • 🂱 @AC30FHE4RTS]

( Cayde, like the dirty little rat he is, has his mouth full as he tried to answer, frowning as he had to do his best to swallow before finally giving her a response.)

You like my armor? That’s so sweet. And yes, but also because I’m a Vanguard for a class of Guardians. —

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

some sorta... sci-fi space cowboy. It's super cool.

( Huh , that sounds.. /complex,/ but still incredibly interesting. A glass of lemonade is placed next to the next sample slice - just to make sure he doesn't choke. )

See, that just makes you sound like some sorta superhero.

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

can i offer you a sweet treat in this trying time ?

( head tilted, smiling - offering a fresh chocolate-chip cookie ! )

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

( Honestly, she's just curious - still talking as they ice cupcakes. )

You, uh - don't have to answer that if you don't want. Just... curious, I guess. I'm assuming that's where you got the cool armor, right?

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

Aw, thanks !

( Juniper beams - even if their head's tilting slightly in confusion. )

"Lady Juniper" does have a nice ring to it. Makes me sound like a knight or somethin'... but what's a Guardian? Is.. that what you are?

[🂱 • 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 • 🂱 @AC30FHE4RTS]

( if he had ears, they’d have perked up at the mention of free food. slowly intercepts the plate, looking at the delicious treat.)

Don’t mind if I do.
And you’re basically a Lady — remind me of one of the strongest Guardians. Making sure everyone is fed… Eva Levante.

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

I mean , 'lady's' a bit of a stretch, but ----
( They're kidding. Also, sliding him a slice of lemon-blueberry cake. )
I could always use a taste tester! You can get free food, I get invaluable feedback.. Sounds like a win-win to me!

[🂱 • 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐠𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 • 🂱 @AC30FHE4RTS]

Where’s the cake lady?
I need more of that magical…fluffy… deliciousness…to test for poison…

yeah that’s right

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

aprons are adoptable, gold & black aprons aren't! what can i get you today?

( slightly muffled from beneath the swarm of cuddly creatures, of course - but juniper's making no move to get back up. they are EXACTLY where they want to be! )

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

( sprawled out in the corner --- pink hair barely visible from the pile of pokemon currently demanding her attention. with a cackle, juni bearhugs their mudkip, before sticking their hand out of the pile & waving. )

welcome to gear change!!!! pokemon with red & silver---

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

bein' serious or.... ?

( they'd argue that it's being cute. maybe they'll also kick back with their own drink & treat. )

don't mention it. what's important is.. did ya like it?

[𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘀 @WormBoyPiers]

that’s my number one skill

thanks though, for the cake

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

heeeeeey , champs! we are currently out of pokepuffs in all flavors ! we'll have new stock in an hour, full stock in two! sorry for the inconvenience, haha....

also, friendly reminder that no matter how cute tiramisu is: do NOT let the raichu into the kitchen.

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

( staring at TWO empty baking trays that were supposed to have their freshly iced pokepuffs on them in absolute dismay & horror. the culprit ? tiramisu , an alolan raichu currently SNOOZING on her tail & covered in crumbs. )

by the dragons, this can't be happening.

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

@redsfailures H. HOSPITAL ? ???? ? ?? ? ? ?? ? ?
NOW ?? ? ? ?? ? ?? ? ? ? ?

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

i 'unno . . . . magic ? ( wiggles their fingers )
i know i'm guilty of takin ' a lot of things literally, but it doesn't help when you sound so serious about it . . .

( even if they think it's cute. )

[𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘀 @WormBoyPiers]

i can’t anyway, how did you expect me to do that?

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

( LOOKS UP ???? HORRIFIED ????? JAW ON THE FLOOR ????? )

.... i'm almost scared to ask -- but what reason is that ????

[ᅠ*ᅠᅠ𝖑eonᅠᅠᅠ 𝖇elmontᅠᅠᅠᅠ ᝰ @hisquietlaments]

ㅤㅤㅤ( scratching his jaw . blank-faced . )

ㅤㅤㅤ.. no , i'm fine . there's a reason i bit into it . i'm not stupid .

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

" DUDE " THAT IS STILL " DEODERANT ! "
( head in their hands. in the silliest way possible , why is he like this. )
you ... you gotta call PSN control , dude - i'm no nurse joy, but deoderant can't be good for you to EAT ???

[ᅠ*ᅠᅠ𝖑eonᅠᅠᅠ 𝖇elmontᅠᅠᅠᅠ ᝰ @hisquietlaments]

ㅤㅤㅤi was hungry dude .

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

H. HUH ????????????
THAT'S DEODERANT ?????????? WHY ??????????

[ᅠ*ᅠᅠ𝖑eonᅠᅠᅠ 𝖇elmontᅠᅠᅠᅠ ᝰ @hisquietlaments]

ㅤㅤㅤthis tastes like shit

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

( VISIBLY UNNERVED. )
that... sounds cool AND terrifying! please don't!

[𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘀 @WormBoyPiers]

i could unhinge my jaw like a snake n eat it in one bite instead

[𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐨 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐫𝐮𝐭𝐡 . @FUSI0NFLARE]

keep bein' a jerk to the chef , and i can change that to /no cake,/ y'know!

[ they're also kidding. she even kisses his forehead before sliding him a slice !! see , all is forgiven . ]

so . . . you should take this 'fore i can be convinced otherwise.

[𝗽𝗶𝘀𝘀 @WormBoyPiers]

you’re a slave to the system…

*he is mainly joking*

but ill accept the cake