no one you follow

Hit send, they'll never notice. RT's are ABSOLUTELY endorsements. Is this a joke?

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

This dude thought it was a great idea to get Americans hooked on burnt coffee.

[Howard Schultz @HowardSchultz]

I love our country, and I am seriously considering running for president as a centrist independent.

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

@peter_horses Is this the biggest you’ve ever drawn?

[Tim Dillon @TimJDillon]

This is actually pretty fucking cool. George W. Bush paints portraits of people he had tortured.

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

@peter_horses Get your cello fixed ya bitch

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

@peter_horses I hope they use a de-aged Kevin James

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

Reducing things down to catchphrases without meaning is where we’re at I guess, “Benghazi” doesn’t actually mean anything, neither does “Hillary’s Emails”, substance with any of these never quite mattered, just the finger pointing and yelling,

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

Is there actually an audience for why Whitewater was considered a scandal or are we just comfortable accepting it as a nonsense catchphrase like “Bobbabooey”

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

@JasonMillerinDC @realDonaldTrump Do you want him to answer the question “Why did Trump shit on a podium and then eat it like it’s a gourmet meal?”

What’s he supposed to say, “The American people voted for it four years ago, I promise not to do that if elected.”?

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

@peter_horses We’ve talked about how disappointing Yesterday is I’m sure of it

[Max Silvestri @maxsilvestri]

I guess I've always regretted my family not owning a secluded mountain home or sprawling country estate but it hits especially hard during Covid.

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

Probably not a good sign when Scooter Braun ‘has your back’

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

Anyway We’re All Gonna Die

[Danny Deraney @DannyDeraney]

Your last text is the title of the book you are writing about your summer.

Go!

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

@derpbum69 Miss you bud

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

Down with the 1% of Twitter that’s good and/or funny, let’s rise up! The shit must bubble over and spill across the tile floor that is twitter dot com! #weAreThe99Percent of Twitter that’s useless trash!

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

Down with the 1% of Twitter that’s good and/or funny, let’s rise up! The shit must bubble over and spill across the tile floor that is twitter dot com! #weAreThe99Percent of Twitter that’s useless trash!

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

Every @TuckerCarlson facial expression is just different reactions to a butt plug.

Discomfort. Surprise! Something curious... pleasure?

Mouth agape at the titillating sensations.

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

Goofy has a son named Max, Mickey and Minnie don’t have kids and Donald raises his nephews with Daisy, does that mean Pluto is Goofy’s spouse? Did Pluto give birth to Max? Did they use a surrogate? Why aren’t they openly together?

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

@plariers Some of the narrative bones are good but I think it’s so far off course from where it should be by this point

[no one you follow @FacebookIsACop]

Maybe we should cancel the United States of America and then in a couple years reboot it with a creative overhaul

[Martin O'Malley @MartinOMalley]

An incredible @StarSpangled200 celebration is going on at @FtMcHenryNPS in #Baltimore.