⎛⎝Sheikhspeare⎠⎞

Goon. Ineffable. Professional drunk. Shirt button revisionist. Air guitarist. Peter of all trades. Assassin for hire. Pugilist. Kalari enthusiast. Lost my halo.

[⎛⎝Sheikhspeare⎠⎞ @FailedRckstr]

This is the coolest video you will see today.

[The Sigma Mindset @thesigmamindset]

Next time you're feeling sad or down remember what Eddie Murphy once said...

[Martien 🇳🇱 @MartienBall]

Americans when they realise the shootout in World Cup games is about shooting penalties, not people…

[Sasquatch Unfiltered @sasquatchvlogtv]

Some Weeks Can Be Like That 😅

[أ. راكان @Hopeet_t13]

الحركات اللي أسويها قدام أهلي عشان ما يلاحظون إني متوجع.

[Squirrel Matador @BudLightSadness]

“You can’t solve problems with violence”

*opens history book.

Well well well

[90s WWE @90sWWE]

😭😭😭

[The Babylon Bee @TheBabylonBee]

We Asked AI To Simulate What Would Happen If AOC Was Forced To Learn Economics

Made with @grok.

[☔ @Whotfismick]

The craziest thing about being an adult is that you can go through the most traumatic night of your life and still have to go to work the next day

[Ryan Cummings @Pol_Sec_Analyst]

How to sneak a chocolate bar into a FIFA World Cup match in the USA

[Wilfred Reilly @wil_da_beast630]

Remarkable for various reasons.

[Politics For You @PoliticoForYou]

BREAKING 🚨🚨🚨

World Cup fever kicks off as America welcomes the world with a traditional display of their culture and traditions.

[⚡ @UTDCJ_]

americans when they find out that world cup games go to a shootout after extra time

[Ami Kozak @amiKozak]

Would be a nightmare having this Dad in your class

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

In America, a stranger will rename you in a single breath, and you are simply expected to come when called.

I went to eat at a busy restaurant. A young man at the front asked for my name, to mark my place in line. I gave it the weight it has carried for eight hundred years.

"Nobunaga."

He smiled, nodded, and wrote it down with great confidence. Then he read it back to me, to be sure he had honored it correctly.

"Perfect. Banana, party of one."

Banana. He had heard my name, held it a moment, and returned to me something rounder and more cheerful. To refuse the name a host gives is to refuse his welcome. I bowed. I was Banana now.

Then he handed me a small black disc, said it would "light up and buzz" when my table was ready, and turned to the next guest as though he had not just placed a living thing in my hands.

I held it in both palms, the way one holds a small sleeping beast that may wake. I found a place to stand. I waited, ready.

It woke.

It screamed. It flashed red. It leapt and shook in my hands like a captured spirit demanding release. A lesser man would have dropped it. I did not. I gripped it, steady, looked into its blinking lights, and told it, in a low voice, that its time had come. Then I carried it back to the host with both hands, the way one returns a hawk to its master.

He took it without looking and shouted across the entire room.

"BANANA! Party of one, your table's ready!"

A hundred strangers turned. I rose. I crossed that floor as Banana, spine straight, chin level, a man answering to his name. A child pointed at me. I gave the child a small bow. He had recognized me.

All through the meal they kept me. "How's it tasting, Banana?" "More water, Banana?" The check, when it came, said Banana, and thanked me for visiting. By the end the whole staff knew me. They waved as I left. "Night, Banana!"

So tell me honestly.

For eight hundred years my clan answered to one name. Tonight I answered to a fruit, calmed a screaming relic in my bare hands, and ate among people who were glad I came.

When the little disc lights up, is the table truly mine, or am I only keeping it warm for the next Banana?

Because I have already decided to return on Friday, and to ask, very humbly, for the same disc.

[Oilfield Rando @Oilfield_Rando]

I immediately knew it was in Pakistan and not in France because European countries would never sentence Pakistanis to death for gang raping a European woman in front of her children.

[Degen CPA @DrewVento]

This dude is practically a racist caricature of an American black man that would appear as a recurring side character in a 1980s Japanese anime

[Hunter Biden @HunterBiden]

@Kenn321705 I’ve never stolen an erection in my life.

[Football HQ @FootballHQ]

In Brazil, the National Teams plane was baptised before it headed off to the World Cup.. 🤯