Fake Adam Kalsey

I help awkward geeks make fewer mistakes in life, executives learn how to spell "API" and everyone else avoid lowbrow coffee.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

I keep all of my YAML files in my Cooper Nettles.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

@akalsey @chrisminnick Both of us are real, if you think about it. Running your own parody account is next level!

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

Subscribe to my newsletter for additional fun facts about liquids and solids.

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

Ad for a beer glass: “Holds two beers.”

Beer is a liquid. No matter how much you add, it’s still one beer.

It’s like lasagna. Put one slice of lasagna on top of another, and you now have one slice of lasagna.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

Do you remember when you started parodying the slightly-nutty-but-always-satisfying flavor of @akalsey? I do! #MyTwitterAnniversary

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

🙇‍♂️ Thank you for the new Twitter bio.

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

Side effect from moving entirely to LED light bulbs years ago: I realize I need to dust my lightbulbs. When a bulb in a lamp only lasted a few months, it got tossed before it had the chance to accumulate much dust. But now...

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

@akalsey We said we’d keep this to ourselves.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

You shaved for your last day? Looks like I have work to do.

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

Ten years ago, our company IMified was acquired and started a journey that led to Tropo getting acquired by Cisco.

Today I’m leaving Cisco to go back the the startup world.

Details coming in a couple weeks.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

@akalsey Gee, responding to myself is fun.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

You should see my plane.

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

My car has no top, no side windows, and no seatbelts. https://t.co/93yzSxFvCB

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

Perhaps she saw mine.

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

I don’t have a LinkedIn profile.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

Related: I can’t get the Chrome web site to load in IE6. Anybody else having this problem?

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

Went to check out @BeautifulAI_ and found this.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

@akalsey Or did you text this to your burner so you could try to clear yourself of running your own parody account?

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

The algorithms know all.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

I sometimes do as well, but that’s less cute.

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

My dog sometimes softly barks in her sleep, which is the cutest thing ever.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

@akalsey I didn’t know it was possible to overestimate such a thing.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

25/Always pack a shotgun. You never know when a good hunting trip might materialize, and you need to be prepared.

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

24/ get your shots. All of them. First, you don’t want to get someone in another country sick. Second, if you need medical care in some rural hospital in podunk country, you don’t want to end up with hepatitis.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

#MeToo @CalEvans

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

This is why Cal has never had me on a podcast.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

This was about me, wasn’t it?

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

I’m considering going through my Twitter followers and blocking everyone that works for my employer.

It’s exhausting dealing with instances of people thinking that something I say here has anything to do with them.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

Or will it actually be me?

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

Next week I’ll be in Barcelona for @Cisco Live and I’ll be taking over the @CiscoWebexDev Twitter account.

Follow and find out what shenanigans I have planned.

[Fake Adam Kalsey @FakeAdamKalsey]

The final post will be all about my 1:1s with myself. Those are definitely the most fun!

[Not Fake Adam Kalsey @akalsey]

In preparation for tomorrow’s final post in my series on 1:1s, I’ll be tweeting quotes from the other 9 posts for the next couple days.