Ambaniji's Diary

I am the king of India. I have lots of money. I will buy you and then sell you gas. Mera ghar dekha hai? Parody Account. Does not represent any real person.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Just got home after spending 3 hours at the ATM to get some cash. Lol JK.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Full page ad to Chetan Bhagat ki books ke bhi aate hain, but Modi ki photo? Hahaha Jio beta Jio.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

These days if anybody says hi, I answer with my new favourite greeting.

'Jio!'

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Dear kids, i will worry about the even-odd formula the day they apply it to private jets.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

I would totally miss Uber cabs but from my chopper all cars look the same.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Thinking of going to buy a packet of biscuits from Big Bazaar just to see what being middle class feels like.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Let alone black money, i have thrown out everything black from my home. Too bad Nita refused to let me dye my hair red.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Ok here's the scoop. I offered Modi a 70% discount on the hair transplant package at my hospital in return for posting Nita's comments.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Big deal that the PM tweeted Nita's comments. The password for the PM's Twitter account is NitaBhabhi$$$.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Happy Diwali to all. Don't worry about Lakshmi ji visiting your house as she is having dinner on the 14th floor of my home.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

I don't go to vote yaar. I just tell them on the phone who should form the government.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

People are asking if Nita kept the Karwachauth fast. Of course. The moon shows early at my house so she was happy.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

So happy to see Nita take up the Indian Super League. If she stays home she just keeps scolding me for leaving the socks on the floor.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Disappointed that Mom missed out on the Nobel peace prize again this year. #anil

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Dear BJP, Shiv Sena, Congress & NCP - why fight so much about the Maharashtra elections? Government to maine banani hai ultimately.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

TIL that by Flipkart sale they didn't mean that Flipkart was for sale. I had already taken out the cheque book. #facepalm

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

So Nita hands me a jhaadu and tells me to sweep all floors of Antilia as part of Modi's Swachh Bharat campaign. #facepalm

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

These wives, i tell you. Now she wants me to tell Modi to get her a Statue of Liberty replica signed by Hugh Jackman.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Bhai Modi is putting on a great show. Can't wait for all those NRIs to invest their dollars in India and make me richer.

[Ambaniji's Diary @FakeAmbaniji]

Modi, Arnab, Barkha - everybody is in the US. Now I need to run the entire country myself and Nita keeps asking what to make for dinner.