Not Colby Rasmus

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

Y'all forgot about Colby. #dingers

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

Don't know why they keep calling me a free agent. I ain't playing no baseball for free.

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

I don't know how these new time machines they use to relook at plays work, but that right there was a Colby Jack. #BlueJays #Jays

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

I wood have had that. #stlcards #ladodgers #NLCS

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

Was doin some math last night. I got 3 dingers in 11 games so far. So that means I'm on pace for about 300 in 162 games. #jays #mlb

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

Buherle reminds me a lot of Albert in how I think he'd love to take home run swings on my face. #jays #bluejays #mlb

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

No, I will not be playing in the #wbc. I have more important things to do, like anything other than playing in the wbc. #jays #mlb

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

I'm not sure who this Phil Kessel guy is, but everyone in Toronto keeps saying he ruined someone's life. What a jerk.

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

@emilyg819 Of course its Colby day- just like everyother day that ends in N.

[Jose Bautweetsta @zanners]

@FakeColbyRasmus just won the world series in mlb12...you were named world series MVP hitting .480 over 6 games #realistic

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

Apparently we're gettin a new teammate with a name they'd bleep down in Georgia. Not surprised he's from NY. #needsjesus #jays #mets

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

You know we got a good new lineup when a stud like me could hit 8th. #jays

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

Ever since that game ended, my dad keeps yelling "YOU COULDA BEEN A CONTENDA" at me. I don't even speak Spanish!

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

If the Cardinals still had this humble ball player, we'd already have rings for 2012 and 2013. #nlds

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

@hawkelly Harper's everything else > Kozma's everything else

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

So, if the Cardinals win the world series, I get a ring again, right?

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

Can yall imagine if I was illegal drugs? I'd be so good, I'd be like Albert Jesus Cobb Baseball Ruth. #mlb #bluejays #peds

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

Hey yall. Do yall Canadians have a girls soccer team to, or do yall just cheer for America?

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

Have ya'll ever though about how weird it is that its tomorrow in Canada already, but still yesterday in Seattle? #timeisstrange

[Not Colby Rasmus @FakeColbyRasmus]

A lot of #jays fans here from Vancouver. If my closest team was the #Mariners, I'd cheer for a far away team too.