The Fake Dale Wicker

I enjoy taking long walks in the same direction. I'm also the best alliterator you know. Trust me on this. And don't write me letters.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

Gonna see if I can work this one in next week.

https://t.co/FG4UBY71iG

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

Pastor likes the classics.

https://t.co/w5uYOw2W0o

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

Shoji Tabuchi.

I did not see that coming.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

Did Colby really say “We all have butts” in yesterday’s sermon? After opening with the Squatty Potty??

🤦‍♂️

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

I like to use the word “propitiation” in a sermon every once in a while.

When people perk up and smile it helps me know who my Calvinists are.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

Dangit.

It’s “just as,” people.

JUST. AS.

I don’t know whose fault that was. Probably Jackson’s.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

If cargo pants are making a comeback, maybe the Fake Dale Wicker can, too?

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

There are two types of pastors in the world: those who look directly into the camera while praying in pandemic-induced online church services, and those who do it wrong.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

Disfellowshipped.

[Aaron New @DrAaronNew]

I suspect my church has its own secret society or deep state or something. I’m seeing way too many guys wearing plaid shirts with Columbia vests for this to be a coincidence.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

Listen y'all. If David danced before the Lord, so can I.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

By the way, can we talk about that 10-point sermon Sunday. 10 POINTS.

I’m so proud.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

Evergreen.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

There are only 2 types of people in this world: those who are comfortable kissing their Bibles and those who need to repent.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

Seven Rs in seven minutes. That’s a Sunday morning win right there.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

30 years is a long time. Y’all better be glad I have the patience of Job.

That’s a joke, people. Don’t write me letters.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

I'm pretty sure @craig_bowling is the MacGyver of church stage design.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

Call me old school. But I still can't believe I was talked into allowing the bubbles.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

#ministersanddogs If I could figure out a safe way to include @nhanno in these tweets, I would. But I can't. So I won't.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

#ministersanddogs You can tell where @ColbyCrow has marked some of his territory upstairs.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

#ministersanddogs Face-licking is frowned upon for both.

[The Fake Dale Wicker @FakeDWicker]

#ministersanddogs At our best, we will fiercely protect the ones we love.