FakeEditor

A publishing industry insider who tells you the best way to be a successful writer! No, really!

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Here's the official @Smashwords response to #CleanReader. Good news for authors! https://t.co/u5Htc9ZYTe

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@wendyqualls Did you publish it?

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LRT: It's an EBONY BONESHAFT story!

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John Grisham. So fail. Such pr. Many disaster. Wow.

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So feel free to self-publish your tales, those of you who bothered. I'm sure they'll stand out against the tide of crap. Yep. Definitely.

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So in case you were too hung over to read it yesterday, the Ebony Boneshaft anthology isn't happening. Not enough subs. #thisiswhyIdrink

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The Ebony Boneshaft anthology is DOA. I didn't have enough submissions and those few that came in won't be read. Less work for me! #winwin

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#BannedBooksWeek is great! So far I've banned James Patterson, Stephenie Meyer, Kim Kardashian...

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So it's a watch. Big deal. I haven't worn one in thirty years. Also, my cell phone does all that. What's next, the iDaytimer?

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Who Is Ebony Boneshaft? Submissions open now. WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN http://t.co/a0JGeZsYEw

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"Jesus, mother! PHRASING!" RT @GalleyCat: Seven Year-Old Aims to Publish Anti-Gun Book http://t.co/d01SYxXkIr/s/IToQ

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Oh gawd, the anthology submissions window is now open. I'm scairt to look in the mailbox, Pa! They's monsters in thar! #thisiswhyIdrink

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The submission window for WHO IS EBONY BONESHAFT? opens on Monday. I guess it's not too early to start drinking. http://t.co/a0JGeZsYEw

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So police arrested a teacher for writing school shooting fiction under a pseudonym. Huh. *deletes browser history*

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I don't know what scares me more: not getting any submissions for the anthology, or getting some and having to read them. #thisiswhyIdrink

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"There's a huge, untapped market for pictures of celebrity shits," said Kardashian's publisher. "People are apeshit for it." #KardaShitties

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Chapter one: "Gorilla Fingers"; Chapter two: "Corn"; Chapter three: "Too Much Fruit" #KardaShitties

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Breaking news! Kim Kardashian announced new book today: Shitties. 300 pages of pics of the results of her daily grunties.

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Ok, I'm done now. Carry on with #writemoregooder yourselves. Imma drink the rest of this pitcher of margaritas.

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And never start a sentence with "and." #writemoregooder