Fetch Package Support Fan

Unofficial Fetch Package support.
Delivery Drives Us. Losing your package is our passion.

Parody, thankfully not affiliated with Fetch Package.

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

We're always upset when we fail to meet customer expectations which is why we encourage you NOT to read this post!

https://t.co/FIEZnSOPYM

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@BigLoafAction @fetchpackage That's because we super, super lost it.

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@levi1922 @fetchpackage We're so sorry to hear this about your experience.

After a short investigation we were able to locate all your missing packages. Unfortunately, they were eaten by a grue. All of them. Seriously. We're baffled too!

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@Wheeltraud1 @fetchpackage Thank you! We're not in it for the follows though, we're in it to help let people know all the absolutely absurd reasons their packages aren't being delivered.

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@Wheeltraud1 @fetchpackage Its a REALLY heavy door so we really do appreciate it.

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@_jaslynnchardae We're sorry you're having this experience with our service. Would it help if it told you that our warehouse burned down and we're trying to recover from the wreckage.

It's not true. But would it help if I told you that?

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@Lily_Warrior @summerwaldo @fetchpackage We're sorry you're having a negative experience with our service.

We take misplacing packages EXTREMELY seriously which is why we're making an effort to do it much faster and more often in the future.

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@rSeattleWA We're sorry you feel this and we're never happy to hear this about our service. We're working to improve and lose your packages both faster and with more efficiency in the coming months. We hope to be a part of your apartment community soon.

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@djwoske We're never happy with this level of service. Did you know you can schedule Fetch in advance?

We're still gonna deliver whenever we feel like it but it sure does feel good to schedule things doesn't it? Hope that helps!

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@mystikalgyrl @fetchpackage We're sorry you're having this experience with our service. After an investigation we've located your package. Unfortunately its in a 2004 Prius at the bottom of a really, really tall hill so its gonna be really pretty late if it gets there at all. Hope that helps!

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@DiggyDid33 @fetchpackage We're never happy when we deliver this customer experience. After a short investigation we've located your package. Unfortunately, a really cute cat is sitting on it right now and we just don't have the heart to move it anytime soon. Hope that helps!

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@lazyspidey We're never happy when we deliver this customer experience. After a short investigation we've located your package. Unfortunately, we replaced the box with a lot of wasps and popped an "H" on the box. Do you still want it?

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@__BigO__ @_natgotsnacksss Fetch has never lost a package. They are just "indefinitely misplaced".

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@Lily_Warrior @sollibaba @fetchpackage Hey Lily,

We're sorry to hear about your experience. After a short investigation we were able to locate your missing package. Unfortunately, it appears that, in honor of 4/20/20, our warehouse staff have used it as rolling paper. Thanks dudeeeee🤘

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@geosspone @fetchpackage Hey Andrew,

We're never happy when customers are dissatisfied with our service. After a short investigation we've discovered the reason your packages have been delivered to another building is that we like those people more than you. Hope that helps!

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@mmeowchelle @fetchpackage Thank you for letting us know how you feel.

How would you feel about a $15 Applebee's gift card to take back your mean words? Please. We promise not to ship it via Fetch.

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@summerwaldo @fetchpackage Hey Summer,

We’re never proud when we deliver really really bad (like so bad) service!

Fortunately, we've located your package. Unfortunately, it is at the bottom of a really deep well and we're not really about all of that.

Hope that helps!

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@AnnMPerry @fetchpackage Hey Anna, thanks for reaching out! We're never happy with this level of service.

We'll be happy to take a look just as soon as our warehouse manager's nephew (he coded our website, we're very proud!) has some time off from middle school to troubleshoot. Thanks for your patience!

[Fetch Package Support Fan @FakeFetch]

@bldavis42 @fetchpackage Hey Brad! We apologize for the delay in locating your package.

After an investigation it has been found! Unfortunately, its on a really really tall shelf and no one can reach it right now. We'll get to it eventually. Thanks for your patience!