Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort

while knoebels amusement resort in elysburg pennsylvania is a real place i am not the real knoebels amusement resort in elysburg pennsylvania this is fake

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

Please stop allowing your children to wade in the creek there are low head dams and they will drown.

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

@EnriqueTheBunny Oh no I fucked the joke up

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

Dexter when you try to get your 47" child on Phoenix

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

We are so excited to announce our amazing END OF SUMMER SALE!!

ACT NOW and when you book 7+ nights of ANY Knoebels lodging we'll turn on Flying Turns for twenty minutes so you can finally get the credit!

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

No more debates, we settle this NOW!

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

This is bullshit saw a bunch of ppl injecting heroin at the shooting gallery and couldn't even tell them that's not the place for it

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

Say what you will about our park but at least we didn't steal your money and use it to pay a social media team to make funny tweets for our brand. We voted for Trump and you will ride Phoenix in spite of or because of that.

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

@Parkscope Maybe as an alternative you could get a different hobby

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

"Hey are you guys running Black Diamond or Flying Turns today?"

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

@SilvariusCoyote omg lol

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

We apologize for the continued unavailability of Black Diamond as we continue to work on making the animatronics less horny

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

@cedarpoint Please tell us whether the bolts that failed on Top Thrill Dragster were produced by Intamin or reverse engineered by BiTec in Dayton

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

@knoebels this u?

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

It is with heavy hearts that we announce we will close and demolish Talon at Dorney Park.

[Zai Sarel 🦅🐉 - departed this app @zai_sarel]

"Hello, Zamperla? One NORMAL mouse rollercoaster, please!"

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

@SilvariusCoyote

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

wow we don't pay our ride ops in loose change and fascination credits for them to get this kind of disrespect

[Coasters and Brews 🍻 @coastersnbrews]

Never understood ride ops that take their time checking trains. Like don’t you want to be the fastest best ride op of all time or what?

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

@coastersnbrews yes

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

@coastersnbrews Don't you want to shut the fuck up and let them do their job?

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

Don't you want to WIN where you WORK?!

Log 1000 hours worked and no OSHA complaints after signing our non-compete and binding arbitration agreements for YOUR chance to live out of a vehicle this winter!

[Knoebels Fake Amusement Resort @FakeKnoebels]

@clannad2009 @SFMagicMountain Arrow built X at the same park tho