Fake Mayor Slay

Mailing it in. Four straight terms as Mayor. I'm the @CoryBooker of St. Louis.

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

@AbbyLlorico Shocking

Eyerollsoharddotgif

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

@Daystar Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

I knew the Board could barely read. But apparently they can’t draw either.

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

@BadTakesPosted Honestly asking…is WAR cumulative? Do the extra years factor in? If a slightly above-average player went until they were 80 would that make them better than Jeter by that metric?

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

@barstoolsports Calm down. We know it’s fun to shit on the Cardinals because of all the winning, but try being objective here. Yadier Molina still exists.

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

@seanspicer @FoxNews @Mediaite That’s gotta hurt. But you were one of the top 15 White House Easter Bunnies, so that’s nice

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

@jack Fuck you

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

@BillGroner1 @WALLACHLEGAL @AllbrightNFL @SportsLawLust Jerry Jones isn’t going to fuck you, chief.

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

When Chuck Grassley first walked to the Senate

[The Associated Press @AP]

Fossilized footprints discovered in New Mexico indicate that early humans were walking across North America around 23,000 years ago. The footprints were found in a dry lake bed in White Sands National Park. https://t.co/stkcm9uz4J

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

I haven’t given @saintlouismayor a lot of advice yet, but here’s one nugget I used a lot a lot.

When referring to shootings, use the descriptor “gunplay” instead. Just sounds more fun!

#stl

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

WAIT WAIT WAIIIIIIIT!

Too late for a write-in campaign?

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

Somewhere...Governor Bowflex suddenly thinks...

“yes...*SENATOR* Bowflex! The time has come!”

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

Y’all are writing me in, right?

#Tanned
#Rested
#Ready

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

Part of my strength when I was Mayor was that my neighbors weren't assholes.

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

I liked Mayor Karen's "apology."

"Oops I slipped and doxxed a bunch of protestors."

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

Just saying... I'm well-rested if the current occupant of my office is out there doxxing people.

You miss me. I miss you. It's been a long Slaycation. The SlayPen is only fun for so long.

Also, fuck doxxing activists. What a dumbfuck thing to do.

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

Hey keep my name out of it, I’m retired #BallparkVillage #bpv

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

:: peaks out of Slayground, Checks Twitter ::

Oh shit, @garrick_s died.

:: goes back in hiding ::

[Fake Mayor Slay @FakeMayorSlay]

@KSHEGUY @LydaKrewson Thanks! As a wise man once said… #AMF