Fake Neal Brennan

I am not Neal Brennan. Just a wAaaAcky joke machine!!!

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

@nealbrennan @moshekasher @douggpound The show sucks without Doug. I'm out.

[Math UK @Math_UK]

I spend a lot of time trying to convince myself that hot girls I know aren't terrible.

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

Is it possible to rap without flailing your hands like a moron?

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

Um hey girl, I think you accidentally put up a Facebook picture without your boobs in it.

[Math UK @Math_UK]

Shout out to all the rappers that edit out the part where they tell the engineer to make the music louder in their headphones.

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

"Kim Kardashian is an ankle injury away from being fat" --@NealBrennan

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

Replied to three e-mails before noon, so chalk this day up as a win.

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

What you think people like about you: your personality. What they really like about you: your boobs.

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

Dave Chappelle

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

All women are crazy, except for female comedians that I enjoy: @morgan_murphy @whitneycummings @chelseavperetti @kaykaycannon.

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

If you jerk off in the morning, your day is rendered pointless.

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

NEW CHAMPS w/ GARY COLEMAN & WEEZY FROM THE JEFFERSONS. We dig em up to talk about what it's like to be black and dead http://t.co/blhLLchn

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

I'll be performing at the Tempe Improv in Tempe, AZ on July 22, 2013. Come fuck with me!

[Math UK @Math_UK]

Seeing how other peoples' girlfriends act when they're drunk makes me really glad I don't have a girlfriend.

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

Is there a law that all NBA coaches have to shave their heads?

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

Things that are impossible to care about: everything.

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

Black people are inherently hilarious.

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

The last date I went on, the woman was acting totally crazy so I didn't call her again. #womenarecrazy

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

Man, rappers do some really funny stuff.

[Fake Neal Brennan @FakeNealBrennan]

I look at stuff on the internet way too much.