Fake Straits Times

The Nation's Trusted Premium Parody #News source. All tweets unauthorised, unaffiliated, and unhelpful.

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

NDP banner committee, June: Glad to be done with putting up banners of our favourite MPs around all neighbourhoods! We can now rest until end-August!!

NDP banner committee, lately: We hate everyone and we’ve run out of masking tape

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

we came back to this site to wish everyone a very happy Horny Politician Day

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

China’s latest weapon in its psychological warfare arsenal: hansumness.

Singapore, officially: We’re neutral on US-China.

Singaporeans, watching TikTok CEO Chew Shou Zi in congress: WAH Y DE AMERICANS SO BADS TO LENG ZAI UNKER CHEW, UNKER PLS TAKE ALL MY DATA TO THE CCP!!

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

Wait… There were between 84,999 to 94,999 of us??

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

PM: “Sex between gay people is no longer a crime, but cringe TikToks together still a right reserved for straight couples.” #NDR2022 #Section377A

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

PM: “Sex between gay couples is no longer a crime, but society may not be ready for them to share a Spotify Family Plan.” #NDR2022 #Section377A

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

PM: “Sex between gay couples is no longer a crime, but syncing up their WFH days is still under review.” #NDR2022 #Section377A

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

Happy Grab Day, Singapore! 🇸🇬🤑

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

The latest COVID-19 casualty in Singapore: a political career

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

Breaking: Elections Department investigating reports of unauthorised campaign poster by a 5-man GRC team ahead of nomination day. The poster has been found in schools islandwide. #GE2020 #SingaporeVotes #Soaper5GRC

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

Breaking: ERP completely disabled by circuit breaker https://t.co/HcxUY6PQBT

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

Trump in 2017: We’ll make Mexicans pay for the wall

Trump in 2020: See

[BBC News (World) @BBCWorld]

Mexicans demand crackdown on Americans crossing the border

https://t.co/izwx6Qj5FI

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

Public service announcement: Safe distancing rules have kicked in, and they’re enforceable by law. Please report any offenders.

Stomp:

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

Yes but what about this new Diamond Princess country you made up

[CNA @ChannelNewsAsia]

DEBUNKED: The image of a tweet from CNA stating schools in Singapore are closed due to the novel coronavirus outbreak is fake https://t.co/nfqHRbqvrS

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

Can you assholes please stop sending Straits Times articles and photos to this service please https://t.co/L8FZbeeKtv

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

Read in a Chinese encik voice:

“Area cleaning 0700 hours to 1800 hours! Location Hong Kong! Attire is admin!” https://t.co/dBnZnQAAov

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

#NDR2019 by @leehsienloong: New NTUC resort to be built at the Greater Southern Waterfront; a new Downtown East. It will be called... Downtown Downtown.

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

#NDR2019 by @leehsienloong: Singapore will apparently be developing the GSW, which is good, because who knows how they’ll win a championship next year without Kevin Durant.

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

Jollibee: *buys Coffee Bean*
Jollibean: Wait

[CNA @ChannelNewsAsia]

Philippines' Jollibee buys Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf for US$100m https://t.co/a4lhrpM4jd

[Fake Straits Times @FakeSTcom]

This may be the best article ever to lock behind a paywall. Well done to everyone involved.

[ST Opinion @STopinion]

Why we should care less about inequality in Singapore https://t.co/Ds8CEhyKR3