Mariana

A virgin who can't drive

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

I spend an absurd amount of time composing tweets in my head for someone whose last tweet was in 2017

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

Me: Can I help you scoop that out?
Girl: no.
Me: sure? It seems hard.
Girl: you can always trust a kid with ice cream.
We're spirit animals

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

The bus just ignored me at the stop and I feel it in my heart that it's the same driver that didn't stop for me 2 years ago and f him! #muni

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

I survived my first #ShipwreckSF and their ruthless desecration of "old-timey She's All That" aka Pygmalion #laughs4days #nightmares4weeks

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

Heard someone on the street blasting the Star Wars theme. Got closer. It was a homeless man with tiny speakers. #SoSanFrancisco

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

I just entered the #Ham4Ham lottery to win $10 #Hamiltour tickets! (and you should too) https://t.co/ZuUbiZGchK via @Lucky_Seat

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

@orangebumblebee but with the upside that you have a mouth! 🙊

[Megan Amram @meganamram]

At the intermission of musicals there should be a very short football game

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

@regina_gladii if by "sooner" they mean 2 years ago while my computer was still covered by Apple care, I'm fine with it!

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

At the Apple Store: "Someone will see you immediately or sooner!" and they call it "Genius" Bar

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

"You can't always get what you want" - are you s****ing me, Trump?

[Jake Flores 🇵🇸🇲🇽 @feraljokes]

i'm starting to think that this is the last season of America and the writers are just going nuts

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

Open google -> Get distracted by doddle game -> Forget what I needed to search.

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

Bus ride today included a 7th grader playing ukulele and singing beautifully and a super cute guy sitting across me. #winning @munidiaries

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

Win a Pair of Tickets to witness SF Ballet - Romeo and Juliet @sfballet via @upoutsf http://t.co/Su71cov8nK via @UpOutSF

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

This #StarWars trailer remind us that it's too late for the new trilogy to fix the original's biggest flaw: lack of shirtless Han Solo.

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

I couldn't remember the word "Shire" and kept saying "shrine" and wondering why my friend was looking confused. #LOTR #NerdFail #ESLproblems

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

Homeless guy at the bus stop offered me a sip of his rum without being a creep. So I guess there's hope for humanity? #SanFrancisco #SFMuni

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

They still need extras for the Steve Jobs movie in #sanfrancisco. If you have time come to the Opera House until noon in 80's clothing. @olv

[Mariana @FakeTalesofMari]

Being a crowd extra in the Steve Jobs movie today. Very exciting!