Not TomOsborne

When not being the most respected name in college football, I enjoy beer, hot chicks and a nice burn

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

We keep losing, I keep boozin. #GBR

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

No more swimsuit category during Miss America???? Charity and trivia instead??

This is like replacing the @originalnathans hot dog contest with rice cakes.

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

Heard my good friend Ray Szmanda passed (AKA The Menards Guy). God is gonna hear some crazy stories, raunchy jokes, and get a sweet deal on insulation. RIP my friend. #AtMenards #SaveBigMoney

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

Anyone know how to get Polident stains out of a silk pillowcase???

(Asking for a friend)

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

I could tell you some stories about Sister Jean.

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

If you’re looking to celebrate the end of a long week, meet me at Shakers in a few hours. I’ll be the one with 3 rings and a redhead on my lap.

Happy Birthday to me! 🎂

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

There is no truth to the rumor that I have been approached to be Oprah’s running mate in 2020. There is truth to the rumor that I’m drunk

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

Hag%6:gir!!!!

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

FUN FACT: Barney Cotton is the losingest coach in Husker history. (Not fun for him, but sure makes me giggle)

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

Just finished watching all 3 “Bring it On” movies on Netflix. Did I miss anything today?

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

Hurry up and get this game over with, so we can all get started. #UCF

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

This isn’t cute anymore. I didn’t bust my ass to win 3 rings just so we could just shrug off home losses to Illinois directional schools.

FIX

THIS

NOW

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

I don’t care if they hire Scott Frost, Jack Frost or Jack Nicholson, FIX MY PROGRAM AND STOP LOSING TO IOWA

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

Remember fans: Visiting Iowans deserve your pity, not you scorn. The season may end today, but at least you don’t have to live there.

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

Drinking numbs the pain

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

Good Morning Husker Nation!!!!! Who's ready to shock the...awww forget it. See you at the press conference next week.

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

Can we get back to normal conversations? Such as how awful it would be to live in Iowa?

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

I love Scott, but if you think hiring him would fix everything, then you might be part of the problem. #AimHigher

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

If you're putting up holiday decorations tomorrow? I want u to throw away your phone, and re-evaluate your life.

[Not TomOsborne @FakeTomOsborne]

Probably should have held off on the Draino