Faker Biondi

Parody profile. SLU President, Knight of the Italian Order of Merit (Highest Order), Future Pope, and Sunshine Enthusiast. ADBG: AD MAJOREM BIONDI GLORIAM

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

The survey the Board will be sending out - Biondi: great president, or greatest president?

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

Oooo SGA voting no confidence. I'm soooooo scared. #quakinginmygoldplatedboots

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

For whoever attended the Teach-In, there will be no repercussions. If your house happens to be repossessed, it's completely coincidental.

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

There's a lot of disapproval about Dr. Manoj Patankar's ability to be VP. I've hired a new VP. I'll be introducing Dr. Panoj Matankar soon.

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

Included in Tenure Review: every department must submit an annual tribute to me, or else be forced to play Survivor on my private island.

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

I hear talk of 2 story beer bongs. I see your 2 stories and raise you a gold and marble spiral staircase 3 story wine bong. #Getatme

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

Met with the lawyers today. Our case is "I'm Father Biondi bitches." We expect to win any court battles by the end of the opening argument.

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

You know what's egregious? The God-awful Tupperware parties Clark kept inviting me too. Not even gold embroidered Tupperware.

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

There was a man before Moses who called God's actions egregious. His retribution inspired the word "smite." Question not the will of Biondi.

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

Complaining about losing law school
summer research funds? Haven't you ever heard of tithes?

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

Was it egregious when God told Noah to build an Ark? Did Noah whine and complain about funding and supplies? No. #ObeyBiondi

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

Anyone who retweets this will receive one free night in the Biondi Estate. #notreally #yougottapay #Freeseplease

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

Attention subjects: only the best will do. Retweet this. #Freeseplease

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

The fountains flow from dolphins and clocktowers as the tuition runs into my bank accounts like rivers of green and gold. #Springtimeprose

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

Been exercising over spring break: I started signing my own documents. My wrist is killing me.

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

I'm buying all of you Air Jordans! And we're getting a new arena! 200,000 seats! With beer taps with the teams' heads! #Winning #NCAAChamps

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

Memphis? Seriously? Might as well be playing toddlers. #MichigamStategotnothinneither #NCAAChamps

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

@FakeRickMajerus Bring me that Championship. I'm getting the wheel barrows of cash ready. #Ismellacademicscholarships

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

All those summers of basketball camp and this is what I get!? #Billikenscantjump

[Faker Biondi @FakerBiondi]

Pevely is mine! I can finally build my indoor island paradise. Complete with UV roof and miracle cows that make icecream when you milk them!