It's changed... Something deep inside shifted. Life. Death. Heaven. Hell. They no longer matter. They don't own my soul. [#Fallen|#Lelaliah|#MC|#RP|#OC]
< proposal-" She began, her golden gaze flicking over him as she began to fill her borrowed flute with champagne. "- you know? In other words, you do a job and I pay you. I thought you'd know simple vocabulary."
"Who are you? What are you doing? How did you get in?" Waving the bottle at him as she speaks. "So many questions..."
Pausing, she lifted the bottle, biting down on the cork, and with a tug on the neck, she pulled it free, spitting the cork off to the side. "Yes, business >
Justโlies back, clicking her tongue as she stares into the dead of night, waiting for sleep to claim her.
Joke.
She doesn't sleep. Can't sleep.
Oh, sweet boredom.
@VexingEmbers "Are weโ" She swallows thickly, fighting back the taste of nausea. "โtalking about the same Lucifer? Fallen angel? Ruler of Hell? Prince of Pride?"
"Yeah... I still fail to see why." Giving the bottle a firm tug towards her. "So, that will be a no from me. Besides, I have a business proposal and aren't deals made over drinks?"
He's quick to march over, snatching the bottle from her grasp and putting it back.
"listen here lady, I don't know who you are or how you got here, but you can't just swan in here acting like you own the place."
โ โ โ โ โโโโโ โโ โโ โ โ โโโโโ
โ๐ป๐๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ณ๐๐๐๐โ
sแดสแด สส
#sสสแดแดก
โ โ โ โ โโโโโ โโ โโ โ โ โโโโโ
The cold bit through Ginnyโs coat like it was nothing more than a flimsy cardigan. She pulled it tighter all the same, though the gesture was more habit than comfort. New York at night was a strange sort of animalโโโloud in places, eerily silent in others. She found herself drifting through it without a destination, her boots crunching against icy pavement, her fingers numb in her pockets.
She had left the apartment because she couldnโt breathe inside it. The walls had been pressing down on her, her nerves rattling in her chest like loose screws in a jar. One argumentโโโwell, not even an argument, more a tangle of words and misunderstandings about babiesโโโand suddenly everything felt fragile. Like one wrong move would topple the whole house of cards she and Bucky had been balancing on.
So she walked.
Every few blocks, she ducked into a diner or cafรฉ, the kind of places that never closed, where the hum of neon signs and the hiss of coffee machines promised some version of refuge. She ordered pie she didnโt eat, coffee that went cold before she could finish, and sat at corner tables while her mind spun itself into knots.
๐พ๐๐๐ ๐๐?
The question wouldnโt stop. It looped endlessly. She knewโโโshe ๐๐๐๐โ there was no reason to be concerned. But reason didnโt matter when her body wouldnโt stop whispering doubts into her ear. When her nerves wouldnโt shut up long enough to let her breathe.
She imagined Bucky at the apartment, pacing just like she was pacing now, cursing himself for letting the topic slip, maybe angry at her for vanishing into the night. The thought of his faceโโโconfused, worried, hurtโโโmade her throat tighten. But she couldnโt bring herself to face him. Not yet. The thought of his eyes searching hers for answers she didnโt have was unbearable.
By the time the sky began to lighten, hints of pale grey bleeding through the black, she was half-frozen, her legs stiff from hours of wandering. When she reached their building, her steps slowed. Her stomach flipped as she stared at the familiar stoop. He could still be inside. Waiting. She had no way of knowing. The thought of walking in and finding him thereโโโhis face tight with worry, maybe even reliefโโโmade her pulse jump. She wasnโt ready.
So she didnโt go in. She walked past the entrance, past the ache of home tugging at her, and kept going until she found herself pushing through the door of a low-key pharmacy a few blocks down. The place smelled faintly of antiseptic and dust, its shelves stacked high with things no one really wanted to buy but everyone eventually needed.
The bell above the door chimed as she stepped inside. For a moment, she stood there frozen, staring at the rows of brightly colored boxes. Then her hand moved before her brain could catch up. One test. Then a second. Then a third. Overkill, maybe, but the thought of trusting just one answer felt laughable. They were heavy in her hands, heavier still when she paid for them and shoved the bag deep into her coat pocket.
Outside again, the city waking up around her, she cursed herself. She wasnโt supposed to fold. She wasnโt supposed to ๐๐๐๐ answers this badly.
When she finally did return to the building, her nerves spiked again. She paused outside the apartment door, holding her breath, listening for signs of life. Nothing. No footsteps, no movement, no creak of floorboards. Relief swept through her. Heโd gone. She was safe.
Inside, the silence was thick, pressing in from all sides. She locked the door behind her, shrugged off her jacket, and pulled the little bag from her pocket. The boxes landed on the kitchen counter with a dull thud, sitting there like bombs waiting to detonate.
Ginny stared at them, her chest tight. Her mouth was dry, her stomach twisting. She pulled a cigarette from the pack, lit it with more flair than she meant to, and dragged the smoke deep into her lungs. The nicotine settled her nerves, but only just.
She paced the apartment with the cigarette between her fingers, smoke curling in her wake. Every step was restless energy. She hated herself for the way her hands shook, for the way her throat closed at the thought of seeing those little windows filled in.
Finally, she stopped pacing. Enough waiting. She snatched the boxes from the counter and marched into the bathroom, shutting the door behind her with a firm click.
The sound of cardboard ripping filled the space as she tore open the packages, her hands unsteady. She lined the three tests up on the counter, side by side, neat and orderly, as if that would somehow make the chaos in her head easier to handle.
She sat on the toilet, cigarette still dangling from her lips, and forced herself to follow the instructionsโโโpee on the stick, set it back down. Again. Again. Three in a row, the ritual mechanical and absurd.
When she was done, she pulled her jeans back up, flipped the toilet seat down, and sat with her elbows on her knees, smoke curling up from the glowing tip between her fingers. Her eyes never left the line of tests.
The seconds stretched. Her heart pounded so hard she swore it echoed in her ears. She tapped ash into the sink, biting the inside of her cheek, her mind spinning through every outcome, every conversation that might follow.
At first, it was only dread. ๐ฐ๐ ๐๐๐๐โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐ฐ๐โ๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐พ๐โ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ , ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ฏ๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐ฐโ๐โฆ ๐๐. ๐พ๐โ๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐.
But the longer she sat, the more the thoughts began to twist. Curiosity snuck in, quiet and insistent.
๐พ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐โ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐ ? ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐๐โฆ ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐ ๐๐?
She tried to push it down, but the images came anyway: Buckyโs big hands cradling something impossibly small. His grinโโโnervous and crooked but realโโโwhen he told her she wasnโt alone in it. The idea of a life where there was more than just surviving the next crisis.
Her chest tightened, but this time it wasnโt fear alone. It was something warmer, fragile, dangerous. Hope.
She could almost see it. Their apartment cluttered with bottles and blankets. Sleepless nights, yes, but not empty ones. Bucky sitting on the floor with a tiny bundle in his arms, his hair falling into his face as he whispered something soft.
It wasnโt all rosyโโโher mind supplied just as quickly the other side. The fights. The exhaustion. The loss of freedom. The pressure crushing them both. But the two possibilities tangled together until she didnโt know which side scared her more.
She dragged on the cigarette again, blowing smoke toward the ceiling, her foot tapping against the tile.
๐ฐ๐ ๐๐๐๐โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐โ๐ ๐๐๐๐. ๐พ๐ ๐๐ ๐๐. ๐พ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐. ๐ฉ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐โ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ? ๐พ๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ?
Her throat tightened as the realisation settled. She didnโt know which answer she wanted. And that terrified her more than either possibility.
The bathroom filled with silence and smoke, the only sound her uneven breaths. Three little sticks sat on the counter, lined like soldiers awaiting inspection, their verdict just seconds away.
Ginny leaned back against the wall, closed her eyes, and whispered into the haze: โGod help meโฆโ
And then she moved, dared to peek, bracing herself to see the truth staring back.
The seconds crawled. Then the minutes.
The bathroom smelled of nicotine and nerves. Ginnyโs cigarette burned down between her fingers, the ash long and fragile, ready to collapse. She leaned forward, elbows digging into her knees, eyes fixed on the little plastic sticks lined up on the counter.
Her chest tightened as the faint lines began to bloom, soft at first, then sharper, undeniable. She squinted, leaned closer, held her breath.
One.
Two.
Three.
๐จ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
Negative.
For a long moment, she just stared, blinking like maybe her eyes were playing tricks on her. But no. Each test was clear, the single bar stark and absolute. Not pregnant.
Her shoulders sagged, a rush of air tearing out of her chest. Relief hit her firstโโโfast, overwhelming. Her lungs filled more easily, her body uncoiled, like sheโd been holding herself braced against a storm and finally realised it had passed.
โThank ๐ฎ๐๐ ,โ she muttered, dragging on the last of her cigarette before stubbing it out in the sink. Smoke curled up like the last thread of her anxiety burning away.
It should have ended there. It ๐๐๐๐๐๐ have been enough. Negative meant safe. Negative meant normal. Negative meant she and Bucky could go back to figuring themselves out without a baby thrown into the chaos.
But as she sat there, staring at the little sticks, the relief curdled. Something heavier slid in beneath it, quiet and traitorous. ๐ซ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
Her throat tightened as the realisation struck. She wasnโt supposed to ๐๐๐๐ that. She was supposed to be grateful, not gutted. But there it was, creeping in like cold through a cracked window.
She bit the inside of her cheek, her eyes stinging though she didnโt know why. โBloody idiot,โ she whispered, shaking her head at herself.
Still, she couldnโt stop the flood of what-ifs. She pictured Bucky again, holding that impossibly small bundle, his face split between terror and joy. She imagined the warmth of a family that wasnโt borrowed or broken, a kind of home sheโd never dared dream about. She imagined little fingers wrapped around hers, the sound of laughter filling their apartment, the knowledge that maybeโโโjust maybeโโโthey werenโt as doomed as their pasts made them feel.
And it hurt. Because now she knew she wanted itโโโat least some part of her did. The tests told her no, and she was left torn in half: relieved and robbed all at once.
She scrubbed her hands over her face, leaning back against the wall, the tile cold through her shirt. She laughed once, sharp and bitter, at the absurdity of it all. Hours ago, sheโd been terrified at the thought. Now she was gutted that it wasnโt real.
Her gaze drifted back to the counter. Three little sticks, lined up like soldiers delivering their verdict. ๐ต๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ต๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. ๐ต๐๐๐๐๐๐๐.
She stood, restless, her body buzzing with too many feelings at once. She gathered the tests up, stuffed them back into the empty boxes, and shoved them deep into the trash. Out of sight, out of mind. That was the trick. Pretend it never happened. Pretend she never cared.
But the hollow ache in her chest told the truth.
Ginny moved through the apartment on autopilot, opening windows to clear the smoke, splashing water on her face until her cheeks burned. The clock ticked in the kitchen, each minute closer to Buckyโs return.
She pictured him walking in, seeing her pale and restless, asking what was wrong. She pictured herself lying, brushing it off, telling him she was just tired. Because what could she say? ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐ ๐๐๐ ๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐, ๐ฐ ๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐ ๐๐๐๐.
No. She couldnโt say that. Not now. Not yet.
She sank onto the couch, tucking her knees up, staring at the city beyond the window. The world carried on outsideโโโtaxis honking, people shouting, life rolling forward like nothing monumental had just tilted inside her.
But Ginny knew something had shifted.
She wasnโt pregnant. That was the fact. But the shadow of the idea lingered. A door had been cracked open, and she couldnโt close it again, no matter how hard she tried.
For the first time in hours, she let herself close her eyes. The exhaustion pressed in, heavy and irresistible.
Tomorrow would come. Today, Bucky would come home. And sheโd have to decide what pieces of the truth she was willing to share.
But for now, she let herself drift in that strange space between relief and longing, her heart caught on a single, impossible thoughtโฆ
๐ด๐๐๐๐โฆ ๐บ๐๐๐๐ ๐๐.
โ โ โ โโโโโ โโ โโ โ โ โโโโโ
แดสแด แดษดแด
โ โ โ โโโโโ โโ โโ โ โ โโโโโ
โ โ โ โ โโโโโโโโชโโโโโโโ
โ โ โ โ โ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐๐๐
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ๐ช๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ป๐๐
โ โ โ โ โ ๐ป๐๐ ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐ ๐พ๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐
โ โ โ โ โโโโโโโโชโโโโโโโ
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ โ
The recruits scattered for their water bottles, some collapsing onto the gravel with grateful groans. Bucky gave them all of thirty seconds before blowing the whistle again.
โBreakโs over. Up!โ His grin was sharper now, boyish mischief threaded through authority. โYou think the enemyโs gonna give you time to sip on mineral water and check your TikToks? Please.โ
A few chuckles slipped through the line, quickly stifled when his brows shot up.
โThat wasnโt a joke. Move it!โ
They scrambled back into formation. Bucky planted himself squarely in front of them, arms folded.
โNext exercise: battlefield retrieval. You think missions are about throwing punches and lookinโ mean? Wrong. Most of the time itโs about getting your buddy out before he bleeds out.โ
He strode to the side and pointed at a sandbag dummy lying sprawled in the dirt. โThatโs Private OโMalley. Heโs six-two, two-forty, and dumb as a rock. Took one in the leg and canโt move. Your job? Get him to cover before the rest of his squad eats lead. Fast.โ
The recruits eyed the dummy with varying levels of horror.
โWhat are you waitinโ for? Roses and chocolates?โ Bucky barked. โFirst pair, go!โ
Two recruits sprinted forward, fumbling with the dummyโs weight. Bucky blew the whistle. โToo slow! Youโre already dead. Drop him. Next!โ
The next pair tried dragging OโMalley by the arms. Gravel scraped, sweat beaded, and they barely made it halfway before Buckyโs whistle cut sharp.
โYou think enemies are gonna pause while you two play tug-of-war? Out! Next!โ
He crouched low beside the next pair as they tried their hand. His tone softened, almost conspiratorial. โListenโcenter of gravity. Get under his arm, lock it on your shoulder. Donโt drag, lift. Think of it like dancinโ with a real lousy partner.โ
The recruits adjusted, heaved the dummy upright, and staggered toward the marker. Buckyโs grin spread. He clapped once, loud and approving.
โThere it is! Thatโs how you save a man.โ
He straightened, turning back to the others. โLessonโs simple: donโt leave anyone behind. Not your squadmate, not your partner, not even dumb olโ OโMalley. Because out there?โ He jabbed a finger toward the horizon. โYouโre all each otherโs got.โ
He let the silence hang a beat before the whistle shrieked again. โNext pair! Show me youโve got the guts to carry your dead weight.โ
โ โ โ โ โโโโโโโโชโโโโโโโ
โ โ โ โ ๐ป๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ช๐๐๐๐๐๐
โ โ โ โ โ โ โ ๐ช๐๐๐๐๐๐ ๐ถ๐๐
โ โ โ โ โ โ ๐ฉ๐ ๐ป๐๐ ๐พ๐๐๐๐๐๐
โ โ โ โ โ แดฌ หขสฐแตสณแต หขแตหกแต แตสธ #แตโฑโฟแตแตสณ
โ โ โ โ โโโโโโโโชโโโโโโโ
The recruits had already started whispering before the whistle blew. Theyโd expected Romanoff herself to run them through drills, maybe Barton if they were unlucky. But the man standing in front of them wasnโt either. He was younger than theyโd expected. Twenty-one at most, dark hair slicked back, a cocky tilt to his mouth that looked like trouble. Still, the crisp roll of his sleeves and the Lieutenantโs bar pinned to his chest carried weight enough to shut them up.
โOn your feet!โ Lieutenant Barnes barked, Indianan accent rough around the edges. The line straightened instantly. Whatever boyishness sat in his face, his tone was pure steel.
โYou think this is training? What youโve been doing is playinโ soldier.โ He paced down the line, boots crunching sharp on the gravel. โYouโll follow orders, youโll move when I tell you, and if you canโt keep up, youโll be scraping your lungs off the ground before I let you ring out. That clear?โ
A nervous cough came from the end of the row. Barnes pivoted fast, closing the distance in two strides. He leaned in, grin playing at the edge of his mouth. โSomethinโ funny, private? Share the jokeโI could use a laugh.โ
The young man shook his head quickly. โNo, sir.โ
Bucky let the smirk sharpen. โGood. Save the comedy act for Saturday nights. Out here? You do what I say, when I say it, and maybe you walk away with all your teeth.โ He stepped back, gave a sharp whistle. โDown. Push-ups. Now.โ
The recruits dropped, groans already starting. Barnes crouched beside one who was struggling, tone dropping low enough for just a few to hear.
โYeah, it burns. Thatโs the point. You think the enemy is gonna wait for you to catch your breath? Build the muscle. Build the grit. Build trust. Youโre not here to look prettyโyouโre here to make damn sure the person next to you doesnโt die.โ
He straightened, folding his arms, letting a grin tug at his mouth again.
โRomanoff asked me to make soldiers outta you,โ he called out. โSo thatโs what youโre gonna be. By the time Iโm through, youโll march like the 107th, fight like Howlinโ Commandos, and maybeโmaybeโIโll even buy you a drink. But donโt hold your breath.โ
The whistle shrieked again. โOn your feet, recruits. Weโre just gettinโ started.โ
Boots scraped as the recruits scrambled back up. Some of them were already sweating, but Barnes didnโt give them a second to breathe.
โForm up. Double line.โ He clapped his hands once, sharp as a gunshot. โYouโve had it easy. I donโt care what kind of fancy Red Room sparring Natashaโs run you throughโif you canโt hold formation under pressure, youโre as useful as wet paper.โ
One of the younger recruits muttered under his breath, too low for most to hear, but Buckyโs ears caught it.
โSomethinโ about my methods not modern enough for you, pal?โ he said, turning on his heel and stalking over. His tone had bite, but his eyes were lit with something dangerously close to amusement. โThatโs cute. You want modern? Try dodging bullets with nothing but a helmet that donโt fit and boots that eat your socks alive.โ
The recruit swallowed, eyes darting away.
Bucky chuckled, low and warm, before clapping the kid on the shoulder hard enough to make him stumble. โRelax, kid. Youโll learn. Or youโll puke. Sometimes both.โ He turned back to the group. โNowโpairs. Youโre gonna practice covering fire and movement. The one running gets low, the one firing keeps โem alive. You mess up? You both start over. And if I see one of you take your sweet time like this is a Sunday stroll in Central Park, Iโll personally run you โtil your legs beg for mercy.โ
He blew the whistle, and the gravel yard erupted into motion.
Bucky paced the line as partners scrambled, shouted commands slicing through the noise. His voice carried the sharpness of authorityโbut the grin never quite left his mouth. When one pair nearly collided mid-run, he cupped his hands and hollered, โWhat is this, a dance hall? You wanna waltz, you can take me out Saturday. Otherwiseโeyes front!โ
Even the recruits struggling hardest couldnโt hide their smirks. He was tough, no doubt about it, but there was something magnetic in the way he barked and teasedโlike he was daring them all to push harder, faster, better.
When the last pair finished, panting and red-faced, Barnes gave a sharp nod.
โNot bad,โ he said, pacing slowly in front of them. โNot good either, but heyโI didnโt expect miracles. Romanoff calls you her recruits. Iโll call you somethinโ else when you earn it.โ His grin widened. โFor now? Youโre just mine.โ
@VexingEmbers Making no move to lower her arms, her head tilting instead in that curious way.
"Daddy? I thought your dad drowned. I don't recall Lucifer approving any damned for leave."
"Getting champagne." And as if her helping herself wasn't obnoxious enough, without a glance towards him, she plucks open the fridge with a simple "Duuuh" added for emphasis before snatching the bottle of bubbly from its chilled hiding place.
"erm, excuse me miss."
Yes he's following, highly offended by the fact she's just marching through the place like she owns it.
"the hell you think you're doin'?"
@VexingEmbers "I'm just making sure if I'm saying hello with a hug or a shot. In your case, both!" Arms flinging open for the brunette. "Bring it in, shorty."
@AnodyneBerceuse < Her wings flicked with mock offence, though, invisible to the naked eye. โAnd here I was thinking youโd roll out a carpet, not a chemical attack. Missed me that bad, or were you just itching for target practice?โ
@AnodyneBerceuse She blinked through the Lysol haze, one hand dramatically fanning the air. โEverywhere and nowhere, darling. Fell off the face of the earth, bounced a bit, broke a few thingsโstandard Tuesday.โ >