Familiar🌙Glow

By the light of the moon

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

Back here again… My worst fear realized… Surprisingly, I’m doing a little better than I thought. There’s still a hole in my chest but I can’t do much about that. I feel a little numb actually. Dazed. I’m mentally doing the walk of shame. I don’t think I’ll do that anymore…

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

I fall way too easily. Or I just have my head in the clouds.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

welcome me or will I leave with my ship battered and bruised before I can even set sail. The journey is already signed off on and must reach its destination. Heavens tell me now so I can repair what’s left.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

My brain is scattered. I don’t what is wanted here… Are the waters safely deep enough to push my boat in or are the waters shallow after all. It’s already exposed so I’m not sure what is expected now. I don’t care how murky the water is, it’s too late for me. Will the waters

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

forward. No matter what truth exists, it must be done for the good of my soul.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

Tossing and turning emotionally. I keep doing this and I’m sick of it… Why can’t I just stay on one frequency. The old ghosts are trying to creep back in but they’re having a hard time of it. I exposed my heart with every vein, artery, ventricle, valve that exists.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

There is no going back. To be honest, I thought it might be an uphill battle from the start, and it starts within me. I tried listening to the universe, but even its voice I’m unsure of. Should the angels find these words, please do not worry. These are demons I must face to move

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

Like tempered steel, forged through many storms, piercing the earth. But the steel is tired after cutting through so much. Rest. Gather your strength. I won't go anywhere this time, I promise.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

Some smaller animals will puff themselves up to look bigger. Humans can do it, too, only it's more about ego than size. You'd be surprised how many people act like a big deal but are maybe a little more fragile than you might expect. I can be like that... Sensitive tiny creature

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

something I have to or want to do; it has to be done or I'll get nowhere. I had to be brave and look past all the things my mind was worried about. There's someone able to see the me that I always wanted only a special person to see. To see behind my iron curtain I hide behind.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

gotten better. All parts of us, including our flaws are what make us who we currently are. Removing one block and fumble it all like a game of Jenga then it all falls. I want to love who that person is now. I don't want them destroy what I already love. I'm learning, too.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

I don't know what to do to put someone at ease. I won't be pushy and I won't act impatient. I don't want to chase them away... I don't like conflict... an old wound since I was a child. I shook like a leaf sometimes and cried often. I still shake sometimes and cry but I've

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

okay to hold it again. I've been home all along 😌

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

There's that feeling you have when you were a kid where it's innocent and you like that boy/girl who makes your little heart flutter. Haha... Well, on the occasion, grown men/women get that feeling, too. It's okay, that's normal... I never left it, I was just waiting for it to be

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

Being in the dark will have you chasing shadows that may not even be there. I knew nothing that was happening, so I was flailing and scared. I had to rely on senses. I became inconsistent. I became frantic. I didn't mean to hurt anyone... I hope perhaps you'll forgive me one day.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

Why did I think that? No one explicitly told me, so why? I got ahead of myself. I smile bitterly, call myself a fool. You knew better, silly woman, didn't you? It's just I don't know why I thought I could have something that valuable. To actually claim something out of my reach.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

Yeah I got it now. It's not an illusion. It's real. I'll keep it under lock and key.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

I will flutter my wings as best I can. I want my beauty to be claimed, not just admired. I will fly until the flower comes that will let me rest my wings.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

isn't a lie, .. I'll still be supportive even if I'm shut out. It's okay. I'll just be right here all the same. And if the butterfly chooses to not return, I'll respect it's journey, for it is a long one I want to see it finish.

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

Maybe I stirred up a problem I shouldn't have... Kind of hard if you don't have communication though. I had my reasons but I'm in no position to even explain. I was mad, I'll admit, that's why I did it. Because I felt shut out when I went to reach out. I thought it was time to

[Familiar🌙Glow @FamiliarGlow]

way to handle it... I felt trapped though not being able to properly convey how I felt so I became irrational I guess. I felt like a bother after awhile so I stepped back.. If that can't be accepted, fine, I'll take my licks. I'll accept the consequences. But the way I feel