Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them!

NSFW. Boobs will bring world peace. We need more boobs. I am just the hero this world needs.
24. bi. she/her.

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

🫧🧼🫧

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

Sent to my main FWB and his bestie, who's gonna join us for some fun at some point

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

MAKE ME get out of bed. It's Sunday.

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

Good afternoon

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

Good morning

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

"Yes, I've convinced him to come to church group with me! You've raised such a nice boy! I know 24 (😉) is a bit old to be unmarried but most guys don't appreciate my traditional values. I'm waiting until marriage to give myself to someone who truly loves me and the Lord"

🤣🤣

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

Told a FWB to take me to his parents' lake house:

"Take me! If your parents are there, I'm real good at pretending to be the nice, polite, Jesus-loving, virgin, suburban white girl that parents love. Then, when they're not looking, I'll suck you dry like a good little slut 😈"

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

🥵
I am in such a time of need (of good dick), that I can't read this meme and not whimper out loud

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

Idk, Dick's?
As a FWB, I'm definitely a Kum & Go
A normal night for me is Five Guys

And....some joke about BJ's, obviously.

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

Just came up with this one last night:

What do you call the first porn video you watch in order to get yourself going for a little session of some "me time"?

The Fappetizer.

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

I'm drunk, so keep that in mind when reading the following thought:

Could the pirate phrase "swab the poop deck" really mean swab the butthole for STDs? If so, good on pirates for being proactive about STD testing.

Maybe work on the scurvy thing tho, guys.

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

@libidont Oh, I know about sounding on men but women do it too? That's.....wow.

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

Twice now in his standup special "Jew," Ari Shaffir has said that god doesn't want you to fuck in the ass. God only wants you "to fuck where piss and blood come out."Does Ari think piss comes out of the vagina?

#arishaffir

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

I do have another Twitter account that's not adult, because I occasionally think about things other than sex. I don't post often but if you're curious, here ya go:

https://t.co/XOJg9s9pyF

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

Women's urethras are just not as big and noticeable as men's.

In case anyone has the question, you don't need to worry about accidentally penetrating a woman's urethra with a penis or toy. It's pretty much impossible.

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

It's a fairly common misconception, but usually among very young people. He grew up religious and sex ed in the US is awful but FYI everyone, women have urethras too.

For example, a UTI is an infection of the "urinary tract." Which is separate from the vaginal canal.

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

@libidont Psshht, I'd like to think mine were a little more creative

[Fantastic Breasts And Where To Find Them! @FantsticBreasts]

Could this kind of shit be why I'm single?