Alyssa Fardoulis

Puppies. Nicholas. Beer. 🐶⚾️🍺

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

Chad gets arrested less than 72 hours after @AMorbidPodcast releases part 2? Not a coincidence.

[𝖔𝖈𝖙𝖔𝖇𝖊𝖗 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊𝖗𝖘 @aperfectpumpkin]

she's a 10 but talks about halloween in august when it's still 90 degrees outside

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

Nick just tried to pronounce someone’s last name as Hamiltoninglyhampton. Her last name is actually just Hammond.

[MDJ | Danielle Jones, MD, FACOG @MamaDoctorJones]

God, grant me the undying confidence of a white, middle class man with a mediocre résumé discussing a topic he googled.

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

Haven’t tweeted since March which was also the last time this fetus didn’t make me yak.

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

A chilly grape soda takes the edge off every time.

[Sal Vulcano @SalVulcano]

I could land a parking spot right on the block then pass another one a half a block closer while I'm walking and be like "the devil is working overtime today"

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

@__ktbee Oh understood. Yes that is completely ridiculous. I’d love to have that bank account.

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

@__ktbee I think the sentiment comes from, at least for me, like I don’t have a choice. Personally, hell yeah I notice a difference. But I have a decent commute for work with no option of public transportation so it just is what it is. It’s a shame, but 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

Quicksand. So much quicksand.

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

What's something you were warned about as a child that you now feel was exaggerated? 💭

[maria🦝 @mariamainmo]

"What do your tattoos mean?" That I had $200 and no one stopped me

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

Do I spend $50 on new switch plates for the kitchen or…

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

I know the title is pretty straight forward but I really wasn’t expecting #WolfLikeMe to be like this lol

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

Funny how every time I tag @XfinitySupport about them sneaking in unapproved charges, my tweet disperses.

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

@Xfinity doesn’t even try to hide the fact that they say your monthly total is one price and then bill you a higher price (before add ons and services fees). Then they leave their chat agents to poorly defend these horrible business practices.

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

@Xfinity doesn’t even try to hide the fact that they tell you one price and bill you a totally different price (before any add ons or service fees) and they leave their chat agents to poorly defend these horrible business practices.

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

Nick just came huffing and puffing into the bedroom complaining about how many stairs we have….as he was eating a chicken wing

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

@Limah_21 Yes ma’am!!! And those will be the best events in the area!

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

“Giroux get out of the air fryer!” This dream is getting wild

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

I know this dude did not just “yo…sup?” me in his damn sleep.

[Alyssa Fardoulis @FardouLyss]

Not me eyeing up my lunch at 9:30am…