Arẹwà Obìnrin

Mrs|Food & Agricultural Enthusiast|Social Safeguard(Gender Based Violence specialist)
Equity over Equality. Compliment and not Compete. It's never a Gender war.

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

A few years ago I was working on a project at FUNAAB (Federal University of Agriculture, Abeokuta).

I was the only woman on the team. Most of my colleagues were married male engineers.

Whenever I introduced myself in official meetings, I didn’t say Miss.

I said Mrs. Faridah Makanjuola Adepetan even though I wasn't married then. I that because society respects you more as married person irrespective of your gender.

One day during a site visit at the university’s IJMB campus, after introducing myself, someone asked me a question that started an interesting conversation.

“Which of those names is your husband’s name?”

I told him: NONE.
He was surprised. Very surprised.

I explained that as a Muslim, I did not change my surname after marriage. In fact, in Islam a woman is not supposed to abandon her family name.

He was excited upon hearing this.
Then he said something that stayed with me.

He told me he had five daughters and no sons, and he had always wondered why the daughters he raised, trained, and invested in would one day get married and change their names.

He said when he gets home he'd share the knowledge to them so they won't have to change their names after marriage.

I told him but you made their mother change her name to yours.
He said he didn't necessarily make her but if he had known earlier that keeping her name was an option, he would have encouraged it.

And that conversation made me realize something.

Many men don’t see anything wrong with women changing their names after marriage.

Until they imagine it happening to their own daughters especially when they have no sons or their daughters attain success.

Suddenly the question changes.

The effort, the upbringing, the legacy all attached to a name now feels like it disappears into another family.

But this is not even just a religious question.

It is also about history and identity.

Most Nigerians do not even know their mother’s maiden name until they are filling a bank form.

Think about that.

The entire maternal lineages slowly disappear from everyday memory because women’s names are routinely replaced after marriage.

For me, the point is simple.

Marriage should not erase a woman’s identity.

If a woman wants to take her husband’s name, that is her choice.

But keeping her own name should never be treated as strange.

Your name is part of your history.

And history should not disappear because of marriage.

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

The conversation about women being called Mrs. Husband’s name instead of their own name has been interesting to watch.

Personally, I never changed my surname after marriage. My name is still my name.

But when I introduce myself, I say Mrs. Faridah.

Not Mrs. my husband’s name/surname.
Not Mrs. my surname.

Just Mrs. Farida.

To me, “Mrs.” simply marks a stage of life, just like titles in many cultures mark stages of identity. In Yoruba culture for example, a woman may be called Omidan, Arábìnrin, or later Ìyáàfin depending on her stage in life. The title evolves, but the person remains visible.

The real issue isn’t titles.

The issue is erasure.

When a woman becomes “Mrs. Blaze Something,” her own name disappears. That’s where the discomfort comes from.

But a title doesn’t have to erase identity.

You can be married and still maintain identity.

For me, Mrs. Faridah does both.

[meaqat @meaqatmc]

“Mummy! Do you have Taqwa at all.” 😁
My students use the dictionary words a lot.

Lateefah Muhammad @Omonegho04
Founder, Islamic Tales for Kids

Full video 👇

https://t.co/nXpdShwLma

[meaqat @meaqatmc]

....the sense that religious studies was something to be endured rather than enjoyed. Muhammad Lateefah @Omonegho04 built Islamic Tales for Kids around erasing that memory before it has the chance to form in a new generation.

Read on👇

https://t.co/8Lusy92BNJ

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

@AskMichaelTaiwo Mo need e baje.

[Foundational Nupe Lawyer @egi_nupe]

Have you enrol your kids yet? Another term is starting today, don’t miss the chance. Reach out for more details

[Lateefah Omonegho @Omonegho04]

WELCOME BACK TO SCHOOL!

A brand-new term is here, and we are excited to welcome all our amazing learners back!

This term promises to be filled with fun, faith, creativity, learning, exciting activities, and unforgettable experiences. We can’t wait to learn, grow, explore, and achieve great things together, In shaa Allah.

Registration is still ongoing across all our clubs.
Ages: 18 months – 16 years

Let’s make this term our best one yet!

Islamic Tales for Kids

Fun. Faith. Family
Where Islamic learning meets fun, kindness & creativity. Raising little stars upon deen.

#WelcomeBackToSchool #NewTerm #IslamicTalesForKids #LearningWithFun #IslamicEducation #RaisingLittleStars #BackToSchool #KidsLearning #FaithAndFun #RegistrationOngoing

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

@DaddyChuky_ @Tbabz__ What rights?

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

@Tbabz__ @DaddyChuky_ It is to be determined by the court if he should be sentenced by these laws you quoted.
However in Nigeria I don't think words like words like non-indigenes or settlers are are tagged "sectarianism".
It is not in any way a hate speech.

[Chiamaka Nwakalor-Egemba @chef_amakaa]

6 years with this Oga of mine. 9 years of choosing each other. It how you handle this Drama baby effortlessly 🤣.

You have been my covering, my partner, my safe place, my greatest supporter, and the love of my life. Through victories, challenges, and quiet moments, we’ve stood together and kept moving forward.

Thank you for loving me so well. Loving you is Easy.

Happy 6th Anniversary to My Sugar Papi💋

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

@sweetysweethrt Healing stage meaning when he's done with NYSC the tears will rain heavily.

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

@sochii_ma @Lord_Of_Warri Is it really the federal government or the state government? Or is all state not generating revenue and given federal allocations accordingly?

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

@Jomo_Of_FUTA The link is not accessible any help?

[UN Development @UNDP]

Hate speech weakens social cohesion, discourages participation in public life & it's a major threat to democratic governance.

From the Philippines to Pakistan, we work with communities on practical solutions to build safer online and offline spaces. https://t.co/x9ddHZJUTw

#NoToHate

[UN Development @UNDP]

Every day presents new opportunities to make a difference.

Here are 1️⃣0️⃣ ways we can take #ClimateAction and help build a greener world for people and planet 🌎.

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

@egi_nupe "As a lawyer you should know this".
Shen gbo oro lenu Oponu

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

@tedmanvibes @IB_Jinadu I live in the north. I've never heard Kano Igbo or Niger Igbo. Even Abuja that's the Federal Capital Territory I've never heard Abuja Igbo in all my 3decades of living in the north.

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

@vimval_ @IB_Jinadu Are Chinese or Koreans claiming it's a no man's land? They know their boundaries.

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

@sochii_ma @Lord_Of_Warri Calabar was. Why you no go Calabar?

[Arẹwà Obìnrin @Fareemah_]

For the last time is it Igbo or Ibo?

[Enomfon Akpan @mydearenomfon]

2. Paid maternity and parental leave enforcement (private + public sector)

-Ensure compliance in private companies, not just government jobs

-Introduce paid paternity leave to reduce burden on women