FatBastard

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

whaddaya mean offencive? Ahm no offensive. Just pointing out things is all.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Watching GeekBrief #495. Talking about rack.s harhar. Kali's got a rack..

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Ahh fuckit. Ahm goin back teh bed. Miserable Bastards all o ye.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Scratched me arse this morning. I had a wee somthing on ma finger after.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

therewuz this bird on the bus this morning. She stank. stank tae high heaven. So I told her.- and *I* got thrown off the bus.. what???

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

I jest farted. I wish I hadnae.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Just saw that DarkNight fillum. Nae bad. Is it true that the wee chappy hu plays the joker is dead?

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Life is a can of beer. First the opening, then the drinking then you toss it away. But what about the hangover? Reincarnation - have a beer!

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Who's gonna win tha warr? eh? Who's gonna win the war? Who gaes a feck?

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

The last month has pissed in a blur of alcohol and fighting. Gaaaan - gisa beer oor arl bash yer faece in...

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Ye know wot? It's bluddy hot here teday. Ah ate ma haggis fer dinner end coulnae eat ma ice cream. Mrs. Bastard has her kit off in the yard.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

yeh bazztids. I dinnae want te see that... I'll seh more later.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Ach. I need some chocolate, doughnuts and good curry. I lost some weight recently and I can see ma third belly again.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

I think I ate something last night that wasn't quite rite. D'ye wanna see the piccies I took?

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

my revel empire grows. I'm not bad I just like chocolate.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Y'know those company straplines that can be used to describe condoms like "Nike - just do it"? They also apply to having a poo.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Which way d'ye dress? I put mine down the left side. Nice big kecks though.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

good day to ye. fatbastard here. British Summer Time at last. I can sit ootside and ha' a wee bevvy. I'll no care aboot the dark nee.

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Ach. Thursday. Why?

[FatBastard @FatBastard]

Ganna get me four o' the ole Carlsberg Extra with ma dole money. Settling in fer the afternoon. I think the dog just farted or was it me?