garrett walters

he who is a fool looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

And so what I like to leave a wedgie in sometimes

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

The best drag queen name, hands down, would be Tucker Carlson

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

@ScoopsRus_ Me!

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

Hate having to go to ultra with my girl, most of the samples in there don’t even taste good

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

I’ve never seen any of the highschool musical movies and im definitely better than all of you because of it

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

@DiscussingFilm Thank god

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

I’ve never met anybody that played lacrosse that turned out to be a good person

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

@RawbertBeef LOOK AT THE DROOL SLING OFF THE BOTTOM OF GOBLINS DAMN TONGUE ahhhhhh nasty 😂

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

Anybody else’s family all text you within the same hour that Betty White died like it was your own grandma #RIPBettyWhite

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

I boil a pot full of whole milk, throw a towel over my head and lean over it to get my calcium

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

@macgraham33 I like to take phone calls with my flashlight still on

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

Happy #EarthDay don’t forget to go lay naked in the grass of your front yard to celebrate or whatever

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

Happy Valentine’s Day to everyone except whoever bought the last of the flowers, heart shaped chocolates, and extra medium condoms from Walmart #ValentinesDay

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

@Pentrypalls The word of god wasn’t the only thing you were spreading

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

I can tell if someone wipes well just by looking at them

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

@Pentrypalls Just on looks I’d give you a solid 6.7, but unfortunately I’ve actually seen your bare ass at a church retreat and we both know you’re in the ballpark of 4-5.3

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

I’ve farted and blamed it on my girlfriend’s cat so many times she took it to the vet

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

@ParkGandy I need a tshirt that says this

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

Forget a swiffer...I’m gonna invite my grandma over and let her take her shirt off and just walk around

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

@macgraham33 I have a hard enough time cleaning all them dishes as it is, don’t need somebody coming in there and crustin em up

[garrett walters @Fat_Daddy_45]

If you’re pansexual stay outa my kitchen