I deeply miss my friends and yearn for the moment I can see them again and embrace them tightly. I long for their smiles, jokes, laughter, and every little detail that makes each of them unique. I miss the version of myself that I was when I was with them.
I miss Dr. Refaat so deeply that it feels like the world mourns a famous figure I don’t know, yet the person I knew, the human being, the friend, is still alive but in some unreachable way. And It’s not denial; it’s a raw, quiet grief of a person’s absence pressing harder than its presence ever did.
I didn’t imagine myself that one day I’d hate the winter or hate the sea as I’m doing now! They turn from being a therapist season and place to be a kind of imprecation and illness for all of us in Gaza. Do we deserve this kind of pain? Do we deserve this kind of worst emotions?
You know when you feel your mind on the edge of exploding and you can’t control it. When you feel stress and you have a lot of things to do, at the same time there’s nothing to do. When you see that your days run without seeing any kind of energy to go ahead in!