@Kyle_Dorshorst Son, if you're run over by a leprechaun on St. Patrick's Day, you receive Sanctifying Grace and automatic forgiveness of all your sins.
This is the anniversary of Pope Francis' election. That explains why blood was running from my faucet and the squirrels arranged sticks into a pentagram on the lawn.
@randyjb22 Though one cries out, the Lord answers in a still, small voice. That may be difficult to hear, unless one listens. You are obviously tuning your ear to the Eternal Voice.
@profjasonruiz It is by Divine-Banana that one ascends to the Monkey Throne. The anointing with keepers'-milk must not be had before ritual is completed.
@AaronTaylorCFB Loyal Son, you worked for it, you earned it, you knew what it would mean to you, and now you have it. A tremendous blessing. Enjoy both now and for the rest of your life.