Father Ted Crilly

Father Ted: Old women are closer to God than we'll ever be. They get to that age and they don't need the operator anymore. They've got the direct line.

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

Dougal, you can't sit around here watching television all day - chewing gum for the eyes!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@BrettInnes someone has had a sense of humour bypass tut tut!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

Dougal, how did you get into the church in the first place? Was it, like, 'collect 12 crisp packets and become a priest?'

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

Anyone fancy a picnic? I know a great little spot!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@FrDougalMaguire YES he feckin did dougal, did i not tell you to get rid of them!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@BishopBrennan no no your grace not at all, he said ben which is his nickname for me sometimes!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

Oh no!!! I'm just after falling down the stairs!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@Mrs_Doyle I'm really fine Mrs Doyle, please!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@msfussypants well he seems to use whatever's easiest to get his hands on, or makes the most mess. he's glittering as we speak.

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@msfussypants He scalded his tongue on a poptart last night, i've told him a thousand times to stick to corn flakes! he's an eejit.....

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@EoinMcLove1 Feckin eejit!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@BishopBrennan Yes your worship, it was a crossed line when you phoned before!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@Riverman86 Down with that kind of thing!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@Mrs_Doyle No i'm ok at the moment MrsDoyle, the three cups you made me earlier have filled me up for now so.

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

Ah come on Father, you're not dead again are you?

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@caz_smash I was only keeping it safe you know!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

That money was just resting in my account!!!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@FrJackHackett - You alright there Father?!

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

@eireanngobrach - God almighty I thought for a moment there Jack had found another stash...

[Father Ted Crilly @FatherTedCrilly]

Bishop Brennan due soon - which involves hiding Jack, and trying to prevent Dougal from saying...well...anything really.