Amira

[esem @abdulmgj7]

Imagine you dey Uni EFCC come say dem wan seize the whole school

[BaRi @DanielGbaratu]

See what I mean, there are some things you will never experience if you dont have siblings

[Uncle K @khalid_iyal]

Yo, akwai marasa kunya ma irin mazan Hausawa.
Daga inda rainin hankalin mu ya fara shine the very first time your wife gets pregnant, you shamelessly take her back to her parents to take care of her until she delivers, feed and nurse her back to full strength, then return her to you perfectly ready for another pregnancy. Hada su kayan abinci fah za’a hado maka. 😂
You are responsible for the pregnancy, so you should also be responsible for taking care of her through it, man. 🤷🏽‍♂️
And then, any sickness that requires extra care, the husband returns her to her parents until she recovers. If it happens repeatedly, he keeps taking her back and bringing her home once she's well again. Bayan tin a wajen daurin aure an dora maka duk wannan dawainiyar fah.
Allah Ya saka ma mata da iyayen su da alkhairi, mu kuma Allah Ya kara shirya mu to be taking our full responsibilities. 😌

[tife 🎀 @bolutifee___]

@PatsKam i’m never telling someone “see you overmorrow” 😭😭😭 sounds hella performative

[Renike @iamrenike]

I’m crying. Where is it showing? I must watch it.

[Emily Juniper 🇺🇸🇦🇺 𝕩 @emilyjuniper_]

At least Tarzan will always be white.

Cause I know Disney doesnt have the balls to put a black man acting like a monkey on screen.

[SAREL 🌼 @Sarel_x]

Let’s be abundantly clear, I’m surprised they lasted this long.

[#3 sisterwife but #1 in his heart @prettycritical]

when she showed him her outfit and he said “that’s tough” and she started crying because she thought it was an insult>>>>>>

[Katy  @Maroup_]

My wife and I were giving each other the silent treatment last week. I realized I’d need her to wake me up at 8 AM because I had an early Wedding Fatiha to attend in Kaduna. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, I wrote her a note:

“Please wake me up at 8 AM.”

The next morning, I woke up, looked at the clock, and saw it was already 10 AM. I had missed the wedding.

Furious, I was about to yell at her when I noticed a piece of paper beside the bed. It read:

“It’s 8 AM. Wake up.”

😭

[Corvera @nono_crvr]

No entiendo que la sigan invitando despuén de la que lió un año con el collar

[Nora❦ @hiscoraline]

the way wattpad fell off so badly needs to be studied. coz tell me why i'm seeing people complaining about how the app is now mostly taken over by AI generated stories? 😐 like back in my days, we used to have real writers with unhinged funny stories about their personal lives 😭

[The Tonight Show @FallonTonight]

An @AbbottElemABC fan demanded Quinta Brunson get Janine and Gregory back together 🤣 #FallonTonight #AbbottElementary

[No filter Skin @NoFilterSkin]

Unpopular opinion: buying bulk groceries at the beginning of the month for the “entire” month is the worst and most expensive way to grocery shop.

[Muhammad. @baphacongo]

Wallahi, what’s left for you is to rely on Allah. No one can increase or restrict your sustenance except Him. Sometimes our fear is just a reminder to strengthen our iman and tawakkul.

[ethu 🪬 @thandoiwethu]

that first watch of Divergent was life changing

[Kia 🧸ྀི @xevekiah]

This actually happened in Korea.
A convenience store worker left in the middle of the night. Just... left. No replacement. No notice.
The store stayed open. Unattended. For 8 hours.
What happened?
A customer walked in, saw no one at the register, waited... then just went behind the counter and started scanning items for other customers.
For 8 hours, random customers took turns running the register.
Every item was paid for. Nothing was stolen.
The owner checked the CCTV the next morning and couldn't believe it.
8 hours. No staff. No theft. Customers literally ran the store for free.
This went viral overseas before it even blew up in Korea. People couldn't believe a store could sit empty for a whole night and nothing would go missing.

[Dr. Barn @RealDoctorBarn]

Welcome to the month of April… the only ‘pril’ that isn’t an ACE inhibitor.

[Pop Base @PopBase]

KitKat has launched a Stolen KitKat tracker.

Users can enter the batch number found on the back of their KitKat to see if they have been sold one of the missing KitKats.

[Sadiq G sadiq 🇪🇸 @sadiqGsadiq]

Me whenever I start a call with “hello” and the other person says “Assalama Alaikum” 😭