My fave pic of me from 2023. Sweaty af, sparkling in a tent at my 5th Regional Burning Man leave no trace camping event. Trying furiously to live again.
-My best friend has another bestie.
-My parents had 35 other kids.
-My partners have other partners! (I'm able to date people who are Consensual Non-Monogamous because my loyalty does not require exclusivity...but yours might, and that's okay! (I'm actually ambiamourous).
5.-pairing that conversation w/a confession that you may have really hurt your partner & damaged what trust you had by acting on those feelings of insecurity in an unhealthier way. Find solutions together. Us vs The Problem, not You vs Me.
(Also not You and their phone vs Them).
4. Seek gentle honesty from your partner, not information gleaned from their devices. Something's already gone sideways and you need a check-in anyways. Vulnerability can feel impossible, but this way, 1 conversation seeking reassurance/info is required, instead of
3. Having an 'open phone policy' together is very different from someone using that privilege. (And much different from abusing it...) If you "need" to violate a loved one's privacy and risk shattering trust, please ask them instead.
2. The unease will remain, but the impact of that trust violation on your partner will likely need awareness and effort addressing--WHEN you confess it. Gentle and direct honesty is best, even when vulnerability feels impossible.
1. Seeking reassurance directly from your partner(s) is healthier and more likely to alleviate your underlying insecurity that needs addressing. If you invade their device, you're choosing to violate their privacy for something you may not even find...