Felonious Musk

An honest musk.
Handjob absolutist.
Parodies nuts.
$TSLAQ

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

Margin calling for the $TSLA stock clowns

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

Five years ago Elon Musk was certain HW3 would support full self-driving within a year.

Today Elon Musk has no idea if HW3 can ever support full self-driving but he's pretty sure HW4 will support it within a year.

If not, then HW5 and one more year should do it.

$TSLA $TSLAQ

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

Is like pain on your earnings date.
It's still not self-driving when he's many years late.
It's the margin call that you just couldn't make.
Elon's a fraud. It figures.

$TSLA $TSLAQ

[squawksquare @squawksquare]

Kind of ironic that $TSLA reports on one of the worst days in the market in weeks.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

BREAKING: The enemy within found working around the clock to destroy Twitter

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

@followtheh Not sure about the 'in town' part anymore.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

@funwithnumberz Inexplicable.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

@ValueAnalyst1 Finally, an area of $TSLA growth!

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

Optimistic $TSLA Robotaxi cent/mile operating cost:

Electricity: 3c
Tires: 4c
Battery replacement: 2c
Misc maintenance: 1c
Cleaning: 1c
Depreciation: 1c

How are Tesla and the cab's owner going to split the remaining 8 cents of Elon's promised 20 cents per mile?

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

The stock is down 22% from 3 years ago but all-in long term $TSLA investors are loving this because now they can go even aller-in

[Tom Nash @iamtomnash]

Long term $TSLA investors are loving this

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

If it looks like it drives off the road,
sounds like it crashes into parked emergency vehicles,
and uses the brakes every time it sees a shadow,
then ... it can't fully self-drive.

$TSLA $TSLAQ

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

If it looks like an invasion,
sounds like an invasion
and uses guns like an invasion,
then … it is an invasion.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

Big if true! $TSLA $TSLAQ

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Starting

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

@ValueAnalyst1 Was there an announcement of a Tezla rubOHtaxi network? I must have missed it.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

BREAKING: ARK's Cathie Wood predicts $TSLA's RubOven will be the premier circle jerk privacy enclosure for groups of up to 20 Musk fanboys, estimates $5T market opportunity.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

BREAKING: Tesla announces they will deliver next-gen vehicles sooner by making them current-gen-but-cheaper. $TSLA up 10% in celebration.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

@JamieMcullough @BradMunchen It's rallying because Elon promised multiple new models by middle of next year and showed mock screenshots of a Robotaxi ride hailing app. It's the usual $TSLA perpetual future products pump.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

In today's Daily Dose of Dumb, the ever-dwindling faithful are expecting an imminent FSD licensing deal and predicting that by 2030 $TSLA will be building all the factories for the small handful of other automakers still in business.

"Elon is 10 steps ahead of everyone."

[ValueAnalyst @ValueAnalyst1]

https://t.co/eAdu3eRE5W

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

@RottingOnion @TSLAFanMtl @Tesla It's a pity that so few people have heard of Teslas otherwise they would surely be buying them.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

@Brehmel The $TSLA air bag's pump is broken. Oh, sorry, I thought you were asking about the stock.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

@RottingOnion Daddy's home with a fresh bottle of lube.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

🚨🚨🚨 $TSLA earnings call transcript leaks early! 🚨🚨🚨

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

@Rothmus Biggest ponzi scheme ever.

Maybe AI and robots will save it though.

[Felonious Musk @FeloniousMusk]

@RealDanODowd @corbinwilliams @AdrianDittmann @elonmusk @Tesla Set up an MMA fight with Elon. He's never too scared to show up for those.