Ferg A. Vicious

I want to be the illegitimate love child of Charles Bukowski. And I swear one day I will be quotable.

[noelle @noeyyyg]

yoga w adrienne is the closest thing to free health care we have in this country

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

Wakanda Forever!

[Sarah Silverman @SarahKSilverman]

Police fire tear gas into a peaceful protest of George Floyd’s murder but stood like the goddamn Queen’s Guard when white assholes w guns storm the state capitol protesting HAVING 2 WEAR A MASK IN A PANDEMIC. We live in 2 America’s & if this doesn’t make it clear ur a dummy

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

You are not the person you want to be. You are the person who you show the world. The world is under no obligation to look deeper.

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

"It is only the sacred things that are worth defiling." #oscarwilde #quote

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

Dear humans, if you have to say the phrase "you don't understand, they are different around me" you are in a BAD FUCKING RELATIONSHIP. #universaltruth

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

If you put on your dating profile that you have the body of a fertility goddess are you guilty of being misleading OR should they have researched better?????? #askingforafriend

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

I remember the days when world leaders didn't announce major military and political news on Twitter. I like Twitter but I miss those days. There was something more respectable about a press conference.

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

Also, what's weird is that at my job I am one and in my real life I am the other.

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

I'm coming to realize that people are either liked because of who they are or inspite of who they are and you are either a "because of" or an "inspite of" person. I know which one I am and it's starting to stress me out.

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

@MadiParmenter do you have a puppy now?

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

Today, with complete seriousness and the hard edge of fear, my family called me "cruel but funny." I don't know if I will ever forget that but I thought if I put it on here then I would a least have a record of the date that it happened.

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

The difference between being a creator and being an inventor that when you are an inventor you make something that everyone else can make after you. Creators alone can give birth to their creations.

[Jarett Wieselman @JarettSays]

I wish I could have been there when someone told him, "so John Legend and Chrissy Teigen got #PresidentPussyAssBitch to trend on twitter..."

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

How often do people who use amphetamines ACTUALLY clean their own house? #askingforafriend

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

I am in love with words other people have already spoken.

[Stephen Colbert @StephenAtHome]

Sarah Huckabee Sanders is leaving, or as Sarah Huckabee Sanders would say, "Sarah Huckabee Sanders is not leaving."

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

There's a lot of planning when dressing for a road trip. You need to be comfortable number one, but you have to find that balance between not cute enough or rich enough to rape and murder but also not terrible enough to look like no one will miss you.

[Ferg A. Vicious @Ferg_A_Vicious]

I find it disquieting how obsessive parents become of their children. I am staring at, what is easily, not one but two, $10k cameras for a dance recital in a elementary gym. I just don't think anyone's regular kid is that special. Probably a reason I'm not a parent

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

Lawmakers have just voted to legalize recreational marijuana in Illinois.