Fidela El Castro

pretend u dont know me

[Fidela El Castro @FidelaElCastro]

@RektYohann74668 @sosmedkeras Kelaparan? Sorry gua tinggal di cluster bukan di gang. Lagian juga klo kelaparan selama dia masih sehat itu salah dia berarti siapa suruh ga kerja

[Fidela El Castro @FidelaElCastro]

@RiBryanz @sosmedkeras Kocak, lu liat sana banyak coffee shop asli indo buka disingapore buka di us. Mainlu cuman kabupaten sih norak. Properti di sg banyak yg beli org indo

[Fidela El Castro @FidelaElCastro]

@_onlyscott So,easy!! Sergio fck1n Ramos

[Fidela El Castro @FidelaElCastro]

@sosmedkeras Apa bedanya anak alm uje? Alm juga dulu mantan pemakai mantan preman tuh anaknya bisa jadi artis. Lagi pula mereka ga bisa milih dilahirin dimana.

[Fidela El Castro @FidelaElCastro]

@BanyuSadewa udh bandingin kinerja pemerintah eh tapi lupa bandingin SDMnya

[Ardianto Satriawan @ardisatriawan]

ORANG LUAR NEGERI KE INDONESIA

"Hello, where are you from?"
"I am from the US."
"What are you going to do here?"
"Vacation."
"Great, you just need to pay IDR 500,000 for a Visa on Arrival."
"Here."
"Have a nice vacation."

***

"Hi, you're late to the online meeting."
"Sorry, it's 2 AM here. I have to adjust my schedule."
"Where are you now?"
"I stay in Bali now. It's cheap, the living cost is only a tiny fraction of my salary. I can save A LOT, and by A LOT I mean A LOOOOT."
"Wow, you don't need a work visa for that?"
"I just stay in my room. No one knows that I am working. As long as the internet works."
"Local tax?"
"No, I am on a tourist visa."

***

"Having a nice vacation? You stayed a whole two months."
"Yeah, my visa is almost expired, so I have to leave."
"Kuala Lumpur? Must be another vacation."
"Yes, only for three days, I will be back again after that."

***

"Hello, where are you from?"
"I am from the US."
"What are you going to do here?"
"Vacation."
"Great, you just need to pay IDR 500,000 for the Visa on Arrival."
"Here."
"Have a nice vacation."

***

"Having a nice vacation? You stayed a whole two months."
"Yeah, my visa is almost expired, so I have to leave."
"Bangkok? Must be another vacation."
"Yes, only for three days, I will be back again after that."

***

"Hello, where are you from?"
"I am from the US."
"What are you going to do here?"
"Vacation."
"Great, you just need to pay IDR 500,000 for the Visa on Arrival."
"Here."
"Have a nice vacation."

***

"It's been almost two years since you stayed in Bali, how is it?"
"Amazing, cheap, and tax-free!"

ORANG INDONESIA KE LUAR NEGERI

"Halo mbak, saya perlu urus visa Schengen buat ke Belanda."
"Untuk keperluan apa?"
"Saya ada konferensi ilmiah di Rotterdam. Buat S3 saya, wajib hadir presentasi biar papernya bisa terbit."
"Oke ini jadwal yang tersedia."
"Mesti nunggu 2 bulan?"
"Iya mas, penuh soalnya."
"Aduh, mepet ya."
"Coba dulu aja mas. Ini syarat dokumennya."

***

"Kenapa uang tabungannya cuma segini? Mas perlu sekian ratus juta mengendap."
"Saya adanya cuma segini."
"Mas perlu surat pernyataan gak akan kerja di sana."
"Lah, itu surat undangan dari konferensi gak cukup?"
"Gak cukup, harus ada tabungan sama pernyataan."
"..."

***

"Ini tiket pulang pergi juga udah harus ada."
"Jadi tiket PP udah harus saya beli, tapi visa belum tentu keluar?"
"Iya"
"Hah?"
"Memang aturannya begitu."
"Kalau nanti abis visa keluar gimana?"
"Visanya bisa gak keluar."

***

"Halo, visa Anda ditolak."
"Hah kenapa?"
"Kami gak bisa kasih tahu alasannya."
"Haduh, terus paper konferensi saya gimana?"
"Maaf ya Mas. Saya harus layani antrian selanjutnya."