Johnny Utah

[Johnny Utah @FiletMignSean]

#NewProfilePic

[Johnny Utah @FiletMignSean]

See yall in 40 days 🐇 🙏

[The Anonymous Nobody @el_budget]

This is a max player today

[NBC Olympics & Paralympics @NBCOlympics]

Nazgul started the day as just another Italian dog. He'll end it as a #WinterOlympics legend. 🙌

[Sickos Committee @SickosCommittee]

Here's your yearly reminder that an alligator is a reptile, except during Lent when it's a fish.

[Science girl @sciencegirl]

This guy has the best job

[MERICA MEMED @Mericamemed]

“Jeepers bud, you’re not lookin’ too good there”

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

It annoys me that so many people are under the impression that this guy, Steven Bradbury, is some subpar goober who lucked his way into gold.

That could not be further from the truth.

This is one of the most satisfying victories in the history of the Olympics if you know the full backstory.

This medal final was during his fourth Olympics, in Salt Lake City in 2002.

Earlier in his career, he was among the best athletes in the world in this specific event, the 1000 meter short-track men's speed skate.

But despite his talent, he just had some of the shittiest luck in the sport. We're talking a decade of shit luck.

In the '94 Winter Olympics, he was considered the odds-on favorite to take gold, but he fell in his heat after getting illegally pushed by an opponent (who was later disqualified). He didn't get a re-do. That was it. He got shoved by some asshole, and his Olympics was over.

Then in the '98 Winter Olympics, he was a favorite to at least medal in the same event but got caught up in a collision that wasn't his fault and failed to advance.

In 1994, he got his thigh sliced open by a competitor's skate during a race, which required 111 stitches and 18 months of recovery time.

In 2000, he broke his neck during training because a skater in front of him fell and tripped him up. That required a bunch of screws and plates being inserted into his skull and back and chest.

And doctors told him that he should stop skating. But he didn't wanna give up. It meant too much to him.

So, there he was in Salt Lake City in 2002, past his prime, a walking erector set, going up against opponents who were faster and younger and in their prime.

He manages to win his heat and advance to the quarterfinal but then has the shit luck (yet again) of having to go up against the best two athletes in the quarterfinal and only the top two advance.

He finishes third and thinks: "Damn, I gave it my best shot." But then, the second place finisher is disqualified, so Bradbury gets to advance to the semifinal.

Now, at this point, he's thinking: Well, shit, I'm not as fast as these younger guys, and I got a bad habit of getting taken out by crashes that aren't my fault.

So, he consults with the Australian national coach, Ann Zhang, and they decide that he should hang back from the pack and hope the pack crashes.

That is a perfectly valid strategy. If you crash, you lose, but speed skaters risk crashing to gain an advantage in order to win.

It may not feel exciting, but it is a valid strategy and just as risky: avoid crashes entirely and hope that pays off.

It paid off in the semifinal: the pack, including the defending Olympic champion, jostled too much and crashed. Bradbury wins and advances.

So, he's improbably in the final and takes the same approach, and it works: the entire pack jostles too much and crashes, and Bradbury's risk of hanging back pays off.

This victory was not some un-athletic schlub lucking his way into gold.

It was a journeyman athlete who never gave up and played smart after a career of shitty luck and finally got his due after it being snatched away from him so many times.

Hands down, one of my favorite Olympics stories.

[Clarence Thomas the Tank Engine @TheRealJChubby]

Just give bro his own bus route. That is a much better solution than arresting him but our society is too sick to see that.

[Heritage Matters🔱 @HeritageMatterz]

Polish 26 year old guitar master Marcin Patrzałek respond to those who have made public comments claiming that his music is fake.

He made this video in a tutorial form showing how he manages to play so extraordinarily well in response. And yes, it's all played on one guitar.

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

‘THE SIMPSONS’ has released a couch gag that finally shows the aftermath of Marge hitting Homer with her car in the intro.

“How are you just sitting there? Your mom just hit me with her car!”

[khayla @mikhaylacl]

I know what insurance fraud looks like and she has committed it.

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Bob Coveiro. He sat by his human's grave for 10 years until his own death in 2021. Pets were not permitted to be buried with humans, but he was given an exception. Now 5 years later, inspired by his loyalty, Brazil passed the Bob Coveiro Law allowing pets to be buried in family graves. 14/10

[Johnny Utah @FiletMignSean]

@DokaRyan Are you ok yet? It’s been a few hours

[Johnny Utah @FiletMignSean]

@jaytatum0 I guarantee you not walking is worse. Trust me.

[Barack Obama @BarackObama]

Watching the @NBA All Star game and @TeamUSA at the Winter Olympics, it’s clear that sports — just like music and art — still has the power to bring us together, build community, and remind us of our common humanity.