Theres such a dichotomy when a loved one is terminally ill. You are given the gift of loving them as they approach death, but you begin grieving for them at the same time, long before theyre gone, distinctly aware of the hole in your life they will leave. A true duality.
This is why I argue Catholicism is an ethnoreligion like Judaism and Islam. If you were born Catholic, you’re never not Catholic even if you’re not Catholic