Appreciate the feedback. The complete lack of any close intimate contact these past 3-4 yrs has rly done a number on me mentally & emotionally.
It rly has me seeing most human interactions as a potential threat vs feeling safe which didn’t use to be the case before. I was always a naturally friendly & open person.
Some days idk if it’s the cptsd, abandonment/rejection issues, this shitshow of an emotionally detached superficial hellhole of a society or the leftover residual pain from my ex’s betrayal that just refuses to go away but I rly feel I may never experience love ever again.
At what point does being starved for deep emotional connection for an extended time period leave permanent damage? Bc I fear I’m pretty damn close to being there already.
Some days idk if it’s the cptsd, abandonment/rejection issues, this shitshow of an emotionally detached superficial hellhole of a society or the leftover residual pain from my ex’s betrayal that just refuses to go away but I rly feel I may never experience love ever again.
At what point does being starved for deep emotional connection for an extended time period leave permanent damage? Bc I fear I’m pretty damn close to being there already.
@MmisterNobody My theory is timelines started fracturing.
Reality is splintering for diff ppl & the frequency they’re tuning into every day is creating a diff world for them altogether.
I think this is what Dolores Cannon’s new earth theory was referring to.
What social media has exposed is just how naturally biased & prejudice most ppl are.
Even if they don’t mean to be, the instinctual urge to follow social order sets in & ppl side with what’s most familiar to them which is whoever mimics their public behavior.
Most ppl hide who they really are behind closed doors, but public perception creates a safety net they can fall back on when convos get heated & sides get taken.
They still treat popularity like some weird hierarchal shield with ultimate authority.
I’ve never understood that.
Fame is a dumb thing to idolize & care about.
It’s power is an illusion & most those ppl wind up caged by it so to be so entranced by it is akin to a child falling for a magic trick bc they can’t see how it’s really done.
As much as humans want to believe they’ve evolved over time, their instinctual nature always takes over when under too much strain & pressure.
It’s the age old battle of self & until you figure out how to break the cycle & set the example for how to keep it broken, it’ll continue to be mankind’s Achilles heel.
What social media has exposed is just how naturally biased & prejudice most ppl are.
Even if they don’t mean to be, the instinctual urge to follow social order sets in & ppl side with what’s most familiar to them which is whoever mimics their public behavior.
Most ppl hide who they really are behind closed doors, but public perception creates a safety net they can fall back on when convos get heated & sides get taken.
They still treat popularity like some weird hierarchal shield with ultimate authority.
I’ve never understood that.
Fame is a dumb thing to idolize & care about.
It’s power is an illusion & most those ppl wind up caged by it so to be so entranced by it is akin to a child falling for a magic trick bc they can’t see how it’s really done.
As much as humans want to believe they’ve evolved over time, their instinctual nature always takes over when under too much strain & pressure.
It’s the age old battle of self & until you figure out how to break the cycle & set the example for how to keep it broken, it’ll continue to be mankind’s Achilles heel.
Life has kicked my ass so badly for so long most days I feel like a wounded soldier who’s hobbling through the world & still trying to find my bearings just to get through the day.
I can’t pretend to not be affected by all the shit I’ve been through to make other ppl comfortable.
I can’t be one of those ppl who pretends shit can’t hit the fan at any given moment.
I’ve seen & been through too much to do that.
Most days have become a fight of some kind. Mainly with myself but also with the world bc it tests me so much it pushes me to my breaking point.
There’s a sweet spot just as you’re about to hit your breaking point. I know that.
Maybe I let myself hit those limits to see how much fight really is in me.
Either way I only know me enduring all this will only have been worth it if I can tell the story as I go which is what I aim to keep doing no matter how hard the road gets & or what obstructions I encounter along the way.
Life has kicked my ass so badly for so long most days I feel like a wounded soldier who’s hobbling through the world & still trying to find my bearings just to get through the day.
I can’t pretend to not be affected by all the shit I’ve been through to make other ppl comfortable.
I can’t be one of those ppl who pretends shit can’t hit the fan at any given moment.
I’ve seen & been through too much to do that.
Most days have become a fight of some kind. Mainly with myself but also with the world bc it tests me so much it pushes me to my breaking point.
There’s a sweet spot just as you’re about to hit your breaking point. I know that.
Maybe I let myself hit those limits to see how much fight really is in me.
Either way I only know me enduring all this will only have been worth it if I can tell the story as I go which is what I aim to keep doing no matter how hard the road gets & or what obstructions I encounter along the way.
He’s got that misunderstood depth not everyone can relate to. His music is for more of the quiet overlooked misfits who just don’t fit in to a social box of any kind. Out of all the artists in his generation I’d say he’s most like Nas bc his style ain’t gonna b for everyone but the skill is undeniable.
The start of the awakening is the fall.
Sometimes it's a singular event. Sometimes it's a cluster of them that come to a head on collision course with your soul.
Your world has to crash first. There is no way around that part of it. It's like a piece of you d'es if not the vast majority of who you were under the false impression you thought you really were.
Your attachment to the role assigned to you severs. You're bare. Broken on the inside. That's where this all begins. That's the environment the warrior inside needs to arise.
Previous generations were conditioned to think constant productivity is living.
They look at idle time as laziness bc the system demands them always working & being “productive.”
They can’t handle down time & the value of sitting & reflecting.
Bc of this most of them developed little to no identity of their own outside of what the world decides they are & the value they have to offer it.
This is why so many of them have to constantly keep themselves busy bc just sitting alone in their thoughts terrifies them as then they’d have to face the reality of all their past mistakes & what it really cost them.
Their entire worldview was shaped for them by a predatory system that extrapolates their energy & siphons it to make itself stronger while they become weaker.
It’s not til they’re old, tired & all used up do they have to face the void they spent their entire lives ignoring & often become bitter as a result.
This is the trap they want you to fall into bc if they see you broke away from it to live a fuller life with more meaning then it’s proof they were wrong all along & gave their entire life to something that never gave back to them in a way that mattered.
If you can meet or intercept every moment no matter what happens, letting it unfold without holding onto any attachment to a specific outcome & flow with it then you have freedom.
To just be without apprehension or restraint & releasing control of any kind is the most powerful & honest form of expression we can show.
It embraces the infinite possibilities of the universe, becoming one with it.
The start of the awakening is the fall.
Sometimes it's a singular event. Sometimes it's a cluster of them that come to a head on collision course with your soul.
Your world has to crash first. There is no way around that part of it. It's like a piece of you d'es if not the vast majority of who you were under the false impression you thought you really were.
Your attachment to the role assigned to you severs. You're bare. Broken on the inside. That's where this all begins. That's the environment the warrior inside needs to arise.