Dru

[Polling USA @USA_Polling]

Drake is two weeks away from having a nuclear weapon

[Jay Jurden @JayJurden]

There are some old white men who saw this and instantly had heart attacks and passed away

[☀️🌷Catholic Charm ✞ 🌷☀️ @CatholicCharm]

The way I feel about the pope is the way I feel about my mom. If she annoys me I can complain about her but if someone else insults her I will end their bloodline

[شرق‌زده sharghzadeh @sharghzadeh]

I don't care what your politics are or what you believe, your coffee should be made by the gayest, wokest person alive.

[Bummer T. Vibes, Esq @VibesBummer]

Before google maps you just had a buddy in another car who said “follow me” then proceeded to run a late yellow at the next intersection.

[ettingermentum @ettingermentum]

He got possessed by Eric Adams for ten seconds here

[Mayor Zohran Kwame Mamdani @NYCMayor]

Happy Tax Day, New York. We’re taxing the rich.

[Zara Rahim @ZaraRahim]

Fun fact! Elmo is actually short for El Mohammed

[Anthony Emerson❤️🌲🦞🇾🇪🌹 @AnthonyMEmerson]

I’m a New England Catholic, which means I don’t practice the faith and I oscillate daily on whether or not I even believe in god, but I will defend the church to the death from perfidious protestants

[Mason Mennenga @masonmennenga]

new catholic converts when the pope follows traditional catholic social teaching:

[Simpsons Quotes @QuotesSimpsons1]

I put the tax forms on top of your "to do" pile a month ago.

I have a "to do" pile?!

#TheSimpsons

[Larry Fitzmaurice @lfitzmaurice]

Sitting in my closed garage with the car running because I lost my family's savings by betting on Euphoria

[one dozen rats at a keyboard @PanasonicDX4500]

the guy looks the perfect level like obama for this to be funny. not a dead ringer or anything but like right where you look at him for a second and go “oh, yeah, actually, I see it”

[Mark Burgess @markburgess_osl]

Only a small exaggeration

[Nikolaj🇺🇦🇵🇸 @nikicaga]

The reveal of the guy really kinda looking like Obama is peak comedy

[hayden palantir @heaven_toniight]

stops me in my tracks every time and reminds me time is finite.. its beautiful

[Simpsons Daily Glavins 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️ @simpsons_DG]

No, Ben! No!

[352,571 Guardians @destiny_thememe]

the philosopher in google hq