Office Outcast

If I email you and cc’d my boss you know shit’s about to go down.

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

My entire day: prepping for meetings, attending meetings, having after meeting chit chat. Repeat.

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

I’m cold but my pits are sweating - a memoir

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

I just wrote the date 9/3/16. That’s how I’m doing today

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

I’m not hungry but I want to eat - my autobiography

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

My weather app: 2% chance of rain

Outside:

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

I think I’m entering the “excited for the farmers market” level of adulthood

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Me: I’m going to take a break from spending money I don’t have

Amazon: I think the fuck not

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Getting older is just realizing more and more how everyone’s fucked up thanks to their parents

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Every time I look at applying to new jobs I justify staying and don’t apply

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Love dumping all the work that piled up on your coworker their first day back from vacation. Welcome back dickhead

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

“That person doesn’t have defined wrists” - me making excuses not to date someone

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Nothing like a short week to make sure I get nothing done at work

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

I’m one medical bill away from bankruptcy at all times

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Biggest lie I tell coworkers: “I completely forgot”

I didn’t forget. I just chose to ignore the thing you asked for.

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Is there anything worse than being the last person to respond in the group chat?

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Me: I’m gonna save up for a vacation

Every brand on the planet: semi-annual sale

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Me every morning: I’m going to sleep early tonight.

Me at 1am every night:

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Google calendar is down. Pretty sure the world is ending

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Me: wow I’ve got nothing done all morning

Also me: I deserve a raise

[Office Outcast @FirstDeskJob]

Wow this playlist is so good - me listening to a playlist I made