Fit Aussie Dad

Cheek, charm, wit and intelligence wrapped in an Australian. Perverted, poetic, romantic and real and yes, the avi is actually me.

[Fit Aussie Dad @Fit_Aussie_Dad]

@ishkabubbles Definitely pronounced eem-you here

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

If you say my name three times in a mirror, I show up and replace any burnt out lightbulbs in your house.

[Turgid Verse @gullyvuhr]

Hey girl, I'm not a dentist but you have three cavities I'd like to fill.

[JediMasster7 @aster7_m]

maybe I’m quiet because I’m thinking about kissing you

[Emily ™ @emily_tweets]

Did you spray windex on your jeans?
‘Cause I can really see myself in your pants!

Ayyoooo

[Benny Boy @Camel_Crushin]

You make me feel at peace. Even when there’s madness everywhere.

[Swedish Sweetie @swedishsweets99]

Do you think Medusa's pubes were little snakes?

[my name is no. @no_my_goodness]

can i slide next to you under the covers and call it home

[𝐣𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐫 ᥫ᭡. @jen_in_reverie]

what if your pussy growled like a stomach when it was horny?

[Super Mark @supermarkusa]

Seduce her with your undivided attention

[𝓜𝓮𝓱𝓻𝓲💫 @meh_thinks]

To be who you are, after all you’ve been through, is beautiful.

[☃️SnowBelle☃️ @SnowBellesHell]

you should stop by my office and bend me over my desk

[Nicki💗 @AwkwardAndOdd]

I like books and carbs and pretending to be wholesome

[✨😈Halo😈✨ @Halo069069]

Orgasm aftershocks are a pretty wonderful thing!

[A Murder Of Crows @TheWellOfSongs]

Come here I built you a fire.

[The Dad Briefs @SladeWentworth]

I’ve never used heroin, but I did just experience my scissors gliding across the entire roll of wrapping paper. ✂️ 🎁

[Veruca's Alt @AltVeruca]

Just wanna put on my red lipstick and decorate your dick like a candy cane.

[Karen From Finance @BoredomDidIt]

Women who suck dick because THEY enjoy it are keepers.