The Flat Earth Times

Reporting the plane truth.

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Trump renames $2.99 McDouble “one dollar sandwich”

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

@RepLloydDoggett This guy Doggett clearly has a huge cock

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

This is basically what Trump posted

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

“Abandon ship!“

- @DavidPerdueGA’s dignity.

[Maggie Haberman @maggieNYT]

via ⁦@reidepstein⁩ https://t.co/uoZ3tbmPq4

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

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[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

“A few Democrats quietly suggested that the bill should pass, so they could use the resulting political fallout from global destruction to their advantage in the 2018 midterm elections.”
https://t.co/9nkDoNmGuh

[Lady Sadie @sadie_pirate]

I like this kid...
#FlatEarth

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Flashback to 2017: The @FlatEarthTimes covers the Republican attitude toward cosmic disasters as covered in @dontlookupfilm: https://t.co/9nkDoNmGuh

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Byrd Bath continues:
https://t.co/k8bPxNc05T

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Flat Earth Times can confirm @clarissaward was not evacuated from Afghanistan because her balls were too big to fit on the plane.

[Clarissa Ward @clarissaward]

A picture is worth a thousand words. You don’t have to zoom in to see how the Taliban’s head of the ministry for the propagation of virtue and prevention of vice in Ghazni feels about sitting down with me. Our story here. https://t.co/Wh7jMkbXjx

[March to the Blue PAC @MarchToTheBlue]

Kayleigh McEnany: So who was PRESIDENT in 2020?

Everyone: Donald Trump

Kayleigh McEnany: Donald Trump?! The Actor?!

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Build Back Better Act Must Survive Literal Bath With Senator Byrd:
https://t.co/eMJvql5SOR

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Build Back Better Act Must Survive Literal Bath With Senator Byrd:
https://t.co/eMJvql5SOR

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Who's ready for a Byrd Bath!!

[Jake Sherman @JakeSherman]

NEW letter from Pelosi to house Dems

“This week, we must take decisive action on proceeding with the Build Back Better reconciliation legislation.”

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

@JakeSherman Whoooooo's ready for a Byrd Bath!

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Titanic Engineer Urges Captain to Maintain Double Speed for New York.

[Erik Wasson @elwasson]

Moderates Urge Pelosi to Stay the Course on Infrastructure Vote - Bloomberg https://t.co/yh6daAbvTz

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

There’s been a disturbance on K street….

It’s as if 1000 military contractors cried out into the night, and were suddenly silent…

[Lucas Tomlinson @LucasFoxNews]

BREAKING: Last plane carrying American troops has departed Kabul; United States ends presence in Afghanistan after nearly 20 years: U.S. officials

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Ok @Politico, NOW it's the worst day of Biden's presidency.

[NBC News @NBCNews]

The Biden family dog was a bit more of a problem pooch than the White House initially acknowledged, according to Secret Service emails obtained by the conservative legal group Judicial Watch. https://t.co/uu1umq3Z96

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Live shot of US Government retrieving citizens in #Kabul:

[Lara Seligman @laraseligman]

SCOOP: U.S. officials gave the Taliban a list of names of U.S. citizens, green card holders & Afghan allies to grant entry into the outer perimeter of the city’s airport, prompting outrage behind the scenes from lawmakers and military officials. https://t.co/WHHzStyynk

[The Flat Earth Times @FlatEarthTimes]

Cuban people: “Give us our freedom!”

American leftists: “Hungry for freedom? Grab a Snickers!” #SOSCuba

[Black Lives Matter (BLM) @Blklivesmatter]

On Cuba: Our solidarity continues...