Flattened Earth 🌎

Heavy Metal is SERIOUS BUSINESS
(satire band, satire account, do not take seriously)

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

Hear the whole EP on Spotify etc

https://t.co/FQadRKLsS6

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

You won't believe the songs we have coming. Several featuring famous drummers***

*** ('s MIDI recordings from Superior Drummer 3).

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

Brother I do EVERYTHING with extreme prejudice 😎

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

86 clearly means to k*** with extreme prejudice, that's why so many hecklers at comedy shows disappear mysteriously.

That plus cancel culture and woke make comedy illegal.

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

@theonetruematt Its also wrong because Charlie was a hero who was brave enough to talk down to college students for money and shame them for thinking some groups of people aren't inferior to others

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

Keep trying to write a sick song about Trump's ballroom but my brain just keeps going:

SOME BALLS ARE HELD FOR CHARITY
AND SOME FOR FANCY DRESS...

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

That’ll teach them to report on stuff Jon did and was convicted of and apologized for before he was pardoned and thus did nothing wrong

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

Official instagram just dropped for Jon Schaffers Sons of Liberty

Do you wish Jon would only write about conspiracy facts and never get a singer to redo the demo vocals??

Then have I got an album for you that came out 17 years ago!!

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

MR UFC GUY, I WILL BE TAKING LEGAL ACTION FOR YOU STEALING MY SWEET SWEET STYLE

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

despite admitting publicly he did something wrong WHICH HE DID NOT - It’s a free country you’re allowed to overthrow the government as long as you don’t bring BEAR SPRAY
2/2

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

FINALLY!!! The classic conspiracy FACT album previously only available on a geocities webpage that went down because Jon went to jail FOR DOING NOTHING WRONG
1/2

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

Reading ICE statistics in the voice Geoff Tate used on the "Empire" bridge talkdown.

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

i dunno bro i think its pretty cool that only 5% of people ICE has detained have violent criminal convictions. And if 170 are US citizens that's like a way lower %.

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

My new year's resolution is to release The Epstein Files which is a song everyone has been asking us to release about releasing the Epstein Files.

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

i have been asked by management to stop posting in all capitol letters but Flattened Earth never forgets about 1/6 brotherrrr!!!

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

I hope everyone had a very merry American LARPing Day (1/6) and that everyone followed proper safety procedures when reenacting attempted government coups.

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

OUR LIBRUL PRODUCER @THEONETRUEMATT WANTS THIS BAND TO BE POLITICOL SO WE'RE POSTING ON OUR OWN ACCOUNT

FOLLOW US IF YOU CARE ABOUT METAL AND NOT POLITRICKS (THATS WHAT PITBULL CALLS IT)

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

Flattened Earth is a (real) band.

[Matt @theonetruematt]

Heavy Metal (Is Serious Business) LIVESTREAM Performance
https://t.co/aSjDgHK8f6

[Matt @theonetruematt]

Live performance of Heavy Metal (Is Serious Business) is now up on the toobz!

[Flattened Earth 🌎 @FlattenTheEarth]

Whoa we got played on the RADIO? They musta got our letters!