Fantastic Flor

A beetle

[reyna cervantes @Jfcdoomblade]

Thinking that Nathan Fielder is going to make a documentary that’s going to humanize someone instead of make them look like an absolute ghoul on their own volition is insanely funny/gullible lol

[Fantastic Flor @FlorFantastic]

@kangminlee Gayest thing I've ever seen

[Fantastic Flor @FlorFantastic]

@wormymcwormersn And do anal

[raandy @randygdub]

only someone who grew up without friends can say this and expect everyone to be like oh yeah that’s not gay

[Fantastic Flor @FlorFantastic]

@moll11y It's 10/$40 today

[🔎Al🔍 @SweatieAngle]

lol fainted and knocked over a mirror and minorly gored my hip. Could have been worse but having a delicate Victorian style constitution is such a struggle I wasn’t built for this I was built to lie in bed and mourn that another of my inbred children has died in a Boating Tragedy

[g @_gdaymate]

I was at a doctor’s appointment once and the nurse asked me what I had eaten that day I said “uhh just a coffee and a donut” and she looked at me and said “like a cop?” and she honestly ate me up so bad I will never forget her.

[jessica @jvssixa489]

can I lay in ur lap and look up at u while u explain communism to me and I promise I won’t touch myself this time

[🔎Al🔍 @SweatieAngle]

Haven’t been using my home IPL on my armpits as a precaution to leave the option to become a late life bisexual like Hayden Panettiere open for myself. Or Frenchwoman.

[🔎Al🔍 @SweatieAngle]

Well, I can think of at least one other “cuck banned from AirBnB” - that’s right: Joseph. Or as some call him - Jesus’s Mom’s Husband

[Fantastic Flor @FlorFantastic]

Unfortunately incel culture isn't just young disaffected men. It's married men in their 40s and 50s as well. Men with wives and daughters. Grown ass men who have a hatred for women, and there are way more than you think.

[Fantastic Flor @FlorFantastic]

@darthlux This is my exact dilemma

[Fantastic Flor @FlorFantastic]

@SweatieAngle @thedimitri The entire comment section. Shambles

[🔎Al🔍 @SweatieAngle]

@thedimitri Sorry man but we gotta beat you with hammers till you stop thinking your dick is brave

[a @aallleeexxxxxx1]

wish my life was more like the movies. and by that i mean i wish my nights ended with someone putting their arm around me and saying “let’s go home” instead of ending with me still at the bar at 2am accidentally dropping my entire beer in the toilet

[miss miami 🎧 @grlbutt]

All these whores around me and I just miss my wife

[powerful wizerd @powerfulwizerd]

I disagree that there are too many sex scenes in movies. In fact i think there ought to be even more. Because im a pervert

[DC Pierson @DCpierson]

DON DRAPER: "We quiero many things. Family, safety, love. But this guy--"
(Taps drawing of chihuahua)
"There's only one thing he quieros."

[mir.i.am #PrayForSnooki @moll11y]

*giving dating advice to my friend but I’m of the belief if a man wants to be polyamorous then he’s actually a tree* if he wanted two, he wood