ouchie

Yes, I've tried CBD oil • she/her • 👽🪐✨

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

my dad took all of the strength he could muster to tell me he’s in pain

i asked the nurse when he last got morphine. she said, “none on my shift…” THAT IS AT LEAST 8 HOURS WITH NO PAIN RELIEF.

now it is AN HOUR after i asked and they are STILL no meds im gonna punch someone

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

my dad has outlived chuck norris

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

i had a bit where every time a celebrity died i would text my friends “my dad has outlived _____!”

i’m sorry to see this extremely hilarious joke come to an end

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

the doctor is telling me my dad is dying but all i can see is the booger in her nose

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

to whoever only put pesos in our donation box JOKES ON YOU we went to mexico on friday

(but unfortunately we forgot to bring them 😅)

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

there is really intense lightning and thunder happening rn and i’m so tired i said, “did you see the thundee?”

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

finally watching the love is blind reunion literally nobody wants to see basketball

but I would watch jordan reaction videos 24/7

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

yet another episode of have we gone on one date or are you a z-list actor

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

mark this message as “unread” so i don’t forget to reply.

me every 30 seconds: oooh a new message!

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

oh my god someone just applied to adopt one of our foster cats and we got so excited only to google their name and find out they’re are a convicted felon for elder abuse/killing an elderly veteran at her unlicensed nursing home.

HELP

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

best quote and laugh this season #LoveIsBlind

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

i wrote a note in dad’s hospital room: NO TV (he hates it). every day i visited him not only was the tv on, it was playing horror movies!

he’s literally paralyzed hooked up to all kinds of needles and tubes and they have freddy krueger or michael meyers on the screen wtaf!??!!!

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

As soon as I got to the nursing facility someone I’ve never met flagged me down and said “you’re Mr. _____’s daughter?”

I said yes and my heart sank.

The guy goes, “he needs more mouthwash.”

LMAOOOOO

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

i learned how to drive stick shift in italy.

i learned how to back into parking spaces in historic filipinotown.

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

bf had a migraine so i told him i’d heat up some leftovers for us.

next think i know, he’s is making ube pancakes. 😹

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

I couldn’t remember the name of the candle brand so I searched

“pf changs candle”

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

every few days i watch a tiktok that makes me giggle and then i read the comments and i laugh so hard i cry and i think that’s beautiful

[ouchie @FluffiestKoala]

while watching honey don’t a woman sitting next to us said “eeewwwww” when aubrey plaza licked her fingers.

then when she was taking back shots the woman said “oh my god!” and left

[Taurus Groove @jiggyjayy2]

Highlights of this week
- didnt k*ll myself
-not pregnant