Kelly

I travel a lot. Sometimes I think about stuff. Who wants cake?

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

The braintrust @thejerryapp thought texting me at 7am on a Saturday on my birthday was a good sales plan. Wrong, dummies. Thanks for the birthday wishes, they’re your last. Unless you want to buy me a boat, then I’m listening. Call me at 5am!

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@Joshimpressions @ElonMuskAOC Same here, follow then unfollow. I thought I was going to be able to go to Mars! Now I’m not sure what value I add to the universe!

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@michaelschwab13 W stands for only one thing!

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@Whataburger W stand for only one thing!

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@EvanDrellich I would miss the boos. In fact, I hope they get louder now. That’s hittin’ fuel for the Astros.

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@LinaHidalgoTX @SJacksonLee Must be more behind the scenes cash as mayor than congresswoman.

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@NikolasAMendoz1 @beardo_07 That seems emotionally unhealthy. But then again, this is Twitter so you’re in good company.

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@beardo_07 @benjiaflalo You’re going to have to be more specific since the Yankees, Dodgers and Astros all cheated.

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@TexansCap Imagine how much better you would feel if they sold the team to an adult.

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@gleyber_better @astros @AirNatlGuard ‘Yankees better’… what’s the rest of the sentence?

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

This tiny #monster has been trying to bite me for hours. #Chill dude, I’m too old to move in with my aunt!

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@barstoolsports I bet he used to pretend to steal their Halloween candy too. Way to earn assclown dad of the year.

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@ATTSportsNetSW what is going on with the @astros game audio? Sounds like you put a microphone next to a waterfall. I know there are a lot of people at the game, but maybe bring down the ambient mic level?

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@KuuipoSays @Figensport And also he wasn’t aware this is a comedy TV show called Reno 911 and he’s an actor. Whoops!

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@StreamOnMax changed its name the same day it released #BamaRush. Looks like even they knew this was a 💩.

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@Dizzle541 @MLB @Mets @JustinVerlander Was there a war I didn’t hear about?

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@HtownWiggy Congratulations! Wear and/or show it with pride! #Astros

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

Just watched the @foofighters Preparing Music For Concerts. Absolutely sounds fantastic and Josh Freese is an unbelievably perfect addition to the band. Nobody can ever replace The Hawk, but I’m happy the music lives on.

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@Saiyan008 @MZLuce21 @hannibalsekt0r @MLBNetwork @astros You are absolutely correct. They were stupid for cheating and they didn’t need to. I don’t think you’re totally wrong about Beltran, but they are two different careers, so we’ll see. Your last Gif made me laugh for a good couple minutes. 😂

[Kelly @FlyingForWork]

@Saiyan008 @MZLuce21 @hannibalsekt0r @MLBNetwork @astros So, yes. That’s all you had to say.