bird man

[DAKKADAKKA @DAKKADAKKA1]

>the governor of Mississippi is stunting on the UK

[bird man @FlyingIntoWork]

@vulturetrades Im in

[Sandy Petersen 🪔 @SandyofCthulhu]

We have gigantic creatures in the sea which can sing for hours and have arteries so big you can crawl through them. (whales)

We have birds that fly 50,000 miles every year. From the antarctic to the arctic and back again. (arctic tern)

We have living creatures which never get old and never die naturally. (jellyfish)

We have animals which you can force through a sieve, and they can reassemble themselves. (sponges)

We have an ancient line of animals which once had 30 or more successful species, and has gone extinct down to just one single representative, and that representative has conquered the entire world (us).

We have horrors that look just like rocks and if you step on them your whole world becomes agonizing pain. (toadfish)

We have animals who hide inside other animals, and when you eat that animal, they enter your intestines and live there. (tapeworms)

We have plants which live on other plants and never touch the ground.

There's a fruit tree that grows around another tree, and eventually kills and replaces it. (strangler fig)

We have gliding lizards, marsupials, snakes, frogs, and rodents.

What the heck do you need fairies for?

[Templarpilled @Templarpilled]

An all-timer

[bird man @FlyingIntoWork]

Yeah I could do this for the rest of my life

[bird man @FlyingIntoWork]

@Adam_DelDuca Go

[𝙼𝙰𝚂𝚂 𝙴𝚡𝚙𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 @MASSExpedition]

"as if Lockheed Martin also made artistic masterpieces,"

They do.

[bird man @FlyingIntoWork]

My printer is jammed

[bird man @FlyingIntoWork]

My uber driver has his map navigation voice giving him directions and self affirmations.

“Keep right. Sometimes we don’t know that we’re already on the right path”

[bird man @FlyingIntoWork]

I can be trusted with the flamethrower

[RAW EGG NATIONALIST @Babygravy9]

Fuck this is bleak.

[yosoymario @yosoymario91]

Literally the best food content on X. This is how you feed a man.

[bird man @FlyingIntoWork]

“Let’s have a meeting outside of this meeting”

I’d rather chew glass and drink mouthwash.

[bird man @FlyingIntoWork]

If Lando podiums this will get broken I guarantee it

[Val ⁴³ ¹⁶ ⁵⁵ 🍋🪩 VA A VER A LOUIS || ໑̣★ @Val_ColLec]

Los que terminen en el podio se llevan una licuadora nueva

[bird man @FlyingIntoWork]

What the fuck are we doing

[Amiri King @AmiriKing]

A uniformed police officer in Kansas City (KS) watches a black grandmother drop a baggy full of crack at a restaurant called Turkey Legg Man.

He declines to investigate and tells her, ‘I’m on lunch, I don’t care.’

I believe the officer’s last name is Butler.

Will update.

[lila ⋆. 𐙚 ˚ @saturnsharks]

Valterri, it's james.

[WISCODSIN @Wiscodsin]

Heckling the pope is crazy, but the pope also knows ball, which might be even crazier.

[EducatëdHillbilly™ @RobProvince]

In my world this gets you instantly fired and you will not be getting another job anytime soon……

[Devan Kaney @Devan_Kaney]

Just rode the elevator up to the press box at Arrowhead with a bunch of Chiefs fans. An older couple wearing Dejean jerseys gets in and someone makes a joke about not letting Eagles fans on.

Turns out they’re Cooper Dejean’s grandparents and they go “well our grandson DID intercept Mahomes in the Super Bowl.” 😂