Alysa Fonken

[Alysa Fonken @FonkenAlysa]

todays life lesson: if you think you can rob them…do it

[A. @justbored142]

who the fuck doubled it and gave it to me

[Ghostface Kryllah @kryzazzy]

Oh no, it looks like I’ve had a little too much to think

[Thrilla the Gorilla @ThrillaRilla369]

I wonder if my recorded call has ever been used for training or quality purposes.

[jynx @miiagarro]

tea is tea whether herbal or verbal

[ຸ @fvckfemi_]

one time it got so bad I almost asked for help

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

shave ur big toe bitch we’re going to the cheesecake factory

[solaris @DJUNGELSK0GS]

who the hell is this guy hanging out with

[Yeah Yeah! @YeahYeahOkBro]

I DO NOT NEED TWO FACTOR AUTHENTICATION TO PAY MY ELECTRICITY BILL. LET ANYONE IN THAT MOTHERFUCKER IF THEY WANT TO PAY IT

[64 @rxswago]

it really does hit you at random times.

[𝕊𝕥𝕖𝕝𝕪𝕟𝕟 @lifeofstelynn]

“You seem off today.”

Me: I’m actually off everyday, just didn’t hide it well today.

[Noah @NoahKingJr]

"why do u have a gap in ur resume" idk why do u have a gap in ur staff. worry about that

[postydiary @postydiary]

the art of losing the fuck u gave

[T E E ! 🐻 @sonotsoul]

Ppl will make an imessage sticker out of yo ass if u not looking

[abrish @cxrnerrstone]

it's been psychological warfare to know you

[NotKaseyKasem™ @psychogoddess]

I don’t want to be dramatic, but I have been inconvenienced.

[𝕳 @6meperdoa]

vocês também estão numa FASE ESTRANHA da vida, onde você tá tipo simultaneamente feliz, sofrendo e se curando, tudo ao mesmo tempo????????????????????????

[C @C111010]

My hoe not going. she fears the unknown and craves stability and routine

[* @painlovesadness]

you fucking up my nervous system again you gotta go

[cheyene norah @onlyyagirl_]

How it feels

[Corey Quinn (in London this week) @QuinnyPig]

The secret to getting off of calls you don't want to be on is to hang up in the middle of your own sentence. Only a maniac would hang up on themselves, so you must have gotten disconnected.