Larsonian

You don't have what they call the social skills. That's why you never have any friends, 'cept fo' yo' mama. - my mama

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

@Buccigross I meant toews for 3. FUCK

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

Overtime and tarasenko scores one more for the hat trick. Heard it here first @Buccigross @StLouisBlues

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

It’s a shame we live in a world where you can’t cheat on your wife with a pornstar, become president of the United States, and just live in peace.

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

Yo @netflix when are you guys gettin that adult section? Ain’t no one trying to pay $30 for brazzers. #ThinkAboutIt

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

This Easter, try to remember that some relationships don’t last forever. But photographs do. #SoftBoiled

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

Even if they are his..

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

Remember the last time Justin Timberlake hosted the half time show and broke the economy? Can’t wait to see him show some titties tonight.

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

Finally, an emoji that accurately describes how I feel most of the day and is more realistic than a bitmoji

🤪 blleeaahh

[Joe Buck @Buck]

Ahhhhhctober

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

Yes, I'm snap friends with the local strip club in Columbus. Don't judge me.

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

I changed the group name to "Hard Ons for Harvey" then left

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

Strip club sent a group snap message about their promo this weekend that all proceeds from dances will go to those affected by the hurricane

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

Is it even brunch if you don't boomerang your mimosas?

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

Good White Castle = Bad Farts

An equation I often underestimate

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

@Buccigross #cawlidgehawkey

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

Annd the dongs 😎

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

I might join a nudist colony just so I don't have to do laundry anymore.

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

How's the drive home going? Well, a trucker just flashed me his junk in a loves bathroom. So overall, pretty good.

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

You can put that on my tombstone

[Larsonian @Foot_Soldier_]

My only regret is not taking more nudes.