Fake Agent

*Parody Account* Representing the great names in football. SHOW ME THE MONEY!

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

Guys Cesc fabregas is deffo signing for Man U. We just played "I have never" and he drank when someone said "I have never sucked off Wazza".

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

@Conniefisher1 I saw Iwan Lewis in Cardiff last night, he has the best leading man hair I've ever seen. Milky voice too!!!

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

Torres scored!! Torres scored!! Maybe another cunt will pay 50 mill for him now! I'm so lucky billionaires are invariably retarded.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

Saying that, Sergio Ramos has definite potential. I may see if I can get him as a guest judge on Spains Next top Model.
#Euro2012

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

Really not happy with the headshots of my clients in the new #Euro2012 panini album. Frank Ribery looks like a fucking retard...Oh wait.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

I told John there were a lot of clubs that would pay top dollar for him, he seemed pleased until he saw Blackpool were on the list.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

I've told John Terry that #EURO2012 is really his time to shine, contract renewals are looming and that KKK membership won't pay for itself.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

@ProudRed85 let's get #Becks4England come on.... I'll tell hazard to reconsider.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

#Becks4England totally up for this, I'd love to get Becks back in the squad...for a reasonable price.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

I may have told a few porkies about where Hazard was going but that retard will do anything I say. I mean he signed for CFC for fuck sake.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

And I'm strangely attracted to her, a copy of her last 5 books and a blowy, beats 20 mill in commission from city any day.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

I love it how NO-ONE knows where Hazard is actually going, fine, he's going to Norwich, the club's shit but that bitch Delia sure can cook.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

I think he may in fact also be blind? OK 195K then. Fair is fair.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

Just found a bin man lying drunk in the road. I'm currently in negotiations with #MCFC for 200K a week for him.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

My target is to make 1bn next year in commission, so then I can buy the premier league too! You inspire me city!

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

....I mean football.

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

I'M RICH!!! I'M RICH!! BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS!! And that's why I love Hockey!!!

[Fake Agent @Football_Agent1]

I've been busy counting my money from the Nasri move, does anyone know what happened today?